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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    Gift @JohnLyonTweets Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 2,392
    • FAVS
    Marshmellow84LtKryptoChronicdhishasarmadityaFamilyRamblingslaura_green00jedwteLLuciditee
    • 2,338
    • RETWEETS
    MissIrsashellyhillyerjillymag2010AyoeBrennanzDarrnathTurbocat777roxiqtRisseda
    damakattackwickedimproperOfficeofSteveDeadLionessLazerPunchblitheringidiom__MzSweetcheeks_jeanievilleTheDailySchmuck
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I'm starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.

    • 2,429
    • FAVS
    hero_squirrelSammyJB121Cyd10eJediMasterJamsMonaBarracudajaycubed2kcecahill70robwnc
    • 1,710
    • RETWEETS
    Cyd10eJediMasterJamsmisslazyjjaycubed2krobwncbethkellayPhat_MexicanWeird_Rash
    abrosenthalDrDweezilMascaraBanditjazmastaPaperWashSwishergirl24ShaunRightNowTrigg3rHippiemaebemarblescyclingfiend74
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    I've never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.

    • 1,358
    • FAVS
    Hannibal_Baggaktwstar21onestar211MilkandCookie11ChristieLuejordaanmaarieLiftedLAWfilthybeggar1
    • 829
    • RETWEETS
    Hannibal_BaggaKeri_shaMilkandCookie11ChristieLueLiftedLAWEarth2Berlinmagicraisinsadb0ycakes
    MrsJekyllsHydeElaineBBfanHeatherLuvsYou
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    Don't think of it as a cubicle. Think of it as a starter coffin.

    • 1,102
    • FAVS
    amysupfanOhPippahero_squirrelzerodecorumBuayDubzMAJikMARCeryoulooklikeamomhuitzilopochtla
    • 704
    • RETWEETS
    amysupfanmisslazyjHIGHdJOMAJikMARCerFulltime_Blokehuitzilopochtlanutmegspicerjaycubed2k
    TheTweetParrotGreeblehausseanscrapsiMikosnycBlack__Elvislynyrdsbackyard
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me.

    *Tambourine Man shakes tambourine for several minutes*

    Well that sucked.

    • 1,012
    • FAVS
    BNagorskiau_rahmanella__fraserChrisScarletteTeaBeaPeaMakesYouGigglePankajK86vsmind2
    • 597
    • RETWEETS
    laura_c_mBNagorskiella__fraserPankajK864ScoreN20Bowlsdistracted_monkGrumpiestBadgerGabby769Kris
    KatieBurnettKLIM0VSKIjrza84rickolanternstevetwarnerOtherDanOBriennicfit75
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.

    • 1,008
    • FAVS
    DarkerWillowi_wasnt_lookingPressOneForNohippocroteezIAmLeannaaReezyIsMyNametiReynardjoelu72
    • 587
    • RETWEETS
    babylast_PressOneForNotiReynardjjthetwitChristianMcBaneshopkins776mattgallo123david_tull
    DrDweezilbrittarnettYour_Boy_Dylan
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    It must be tough to get people to read your emails if you really are a Nigerian prince.

    • 895
    • FAVS
    distracted_monkDarkerWillowsiddo471i_wasnt_lookingPressOneForNohippocroteezcharrrllaajjthetwit
    • 432
    • RETWEETS
    i_wasnt_lookingpickled_idiotbecabirdshopkins776cambusladgianni_bcndougbiesshutupmac
    JamesCoolieDanKCharnleyBlack__Elvismiss_ogyny________
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    I can’t enjoy movie car chases. That fruit stand was some guy’s livelihood, man.

    • 752
    • FAVS
    gianni_bcnsiddo471i_wasnt_lookingPressOneForNohippocroteezHormonellaHatfieldAnneaparna___
    • 377
    • RETWEETS
    nolanira93gianni_bcnsiddo471i_wasnt_lookingPressOneForNofavstar_historyCammille26simranshah
    DrDweezililgrandechucksarcazm2
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    I find it creepy that everything Bryan Adams does, he does it for me.

    • 728
    • FAVS
    troubadoursbanesummers_sonnyratnerpcarpenoctem1234TittystonedSoulYodelerkatmomamaelhammer23
    • 362
    • RETWEETS
    MartinJohn25Slave_4_UEnigmaticEvilplatinum2000roxaroodwcrazytraci72wickedimproperSexySpainNights
    so_amused
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    Friend: What time is it?
    Me: (pulls out phone, checks Twitter and Facebook notifications, puts phone away)
    Friend: Well?
    Me: Well what?

    • 614
    • FAVS
    DarkerWillowJFKinNewHavenPressOneForNocharrrllaaItsKitOkKaatje_79Hamzzzxolerunkbitch
    • 378
    • RETWEETS
    CiroGalliJFKinNewHavenItsKitOkKaatje_79harikajanjamDanielleOlenakbecabirdyoucantbeMissT
    DrDweezilkrishna_van
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    If a woman looks sad, tell her "You'd be pretty if you smiled more" and you won't see her looking sad anymore because you will be dead.

    • 560
    • FAVS
    peterjkbonElenaSeigeldistracted_monkangelhofferthinmancipationchitownjimmyxoxDarkerWillowPatCronin_78
    • 416
    • RETWEETS
    inmancipationBelladonnaLakesDarkerWillowbubbletaemJeensoangrychick16dogemarlywilly2122
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    The downside of having friends who love sarcasm and irony is that when we make plans I'm never entirely sure we really made plans.

    • 534
    • FAVS
    DarkerWillowSolelyBBubblious_NinaglassforPressOneForNohippocroteezwordthrowerbillingsboys
    • 316
    • RETWEETS
    Bubblious_Ninadivadeb99MakalDakalGlockanomicsphatassbenRavenGaddafiAmorAb72__JBizzle4Rizzle
    _CherriAnn_FatherWithTwinsMikeMcMikaelsonTangoEchoAlphaP__
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders. How I learned this rule is not important.

    • 462
    • FAVS
    MakesYouGigglePankajK86vsmind24ScoreN20BowlsRagnor009distracted_monkDarkerWillowfightwithspoons
    • 338
    • RETWEETS
    PankajK86deadfishpottery4ScoreN20BowlsRagnor009distracted_monkMiggyMoonbeamPressOneForNogianni_bcn
    DrDweezilxSpaceShotxAndyAsAdjective
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    I said to a friend, “How are you?” & he said “Good, how are you?” & I said “Good, how are you?’ because I don’t know how conversation works.

    • 523
    • FAVS
    MiggyMoonbeamPressOneForNohippocroteezItsKitOkKateWhineHallCarminQsamanthakimuraAhnster1
    • 249
    • RETWEETS
    MiggyMoonbeamPressOneForNojcleorabecabirdshopkins776october_bloodshutupmacSmitten_RPattz
    cessperience
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    No, you can't have candy for breakfast. Don't be silly. Now be quiet and let me finish my peppermint mocha frappuccino.

    • 416
    • FAVS
    momisaverbK__g_nV_g_ncaitycaitcatjordansydneesarahmsessionseponinebellCarlGraceffaketansampat
    • 303
    • RETWEETS
    studiobleuKatelynRepkeJemfinAndersonChewingCrayonseponinebelllana119ShmeeitesPradeepKadam11
    LinajkReturns
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    Tips for improving concentration:
    -Make a list of tasks.
    -Take on one task at a time.
    -Take On Me was a fun song.
    -Ooh I found the video.

    • 427
    • FAVS
    AlainanotElainaJedixdivinePrinceofDimnessNotnamelitedanielle_0827adal_heidisjpuncholosolommb
    • 291
    • RETWEETS
    NamelessCynicdanielle_0827adal_heidisjpuncholosolommbdeleezejustbarkyoujustsaycc
    thejodiestdaemonic3
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    Don't regret past mistakes. All of your decisions, good and bad, led you to where you are today.

    Disregard this if you are in prison.

    • 336
    • FAVS
    fabiananna15AlanCSangafunnweaverbeingtheohstweetheartmartinltpmCNatureLovereborg01
    • 343
    • RETWEETS
    AjiaolayinkaAlanCSangaKinjDawcheka254njagflKimlane70MammaGardnerkcpradeep
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    I saw an ad for burial plots and I thought, that's the last thing I need.

    • 453
    • FAVS
    ISOremarkablekumailrSerwatKhursheedbelalmahfoozshakes31471SchMaaagssimongrafPrancing_Donkey
    • 191
    • RETWEETS
    AtiyaAbbasBadGluteusAsNr80becca_skirvinsimongrafroxaroodw318jmitchmax_grudowski
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    "Lunchables" is a good name because it doesn't make any grandiose claims: "This is able to be eaten as lunch."

    • 498
    • FAVS
    emmatheistOhTurdFergussenawkwarddestineethe_anastasiaBonsaiaphroditeCharltteWoltersJakeDatenoVerifiedDrunk
    • 144
    • RETWEETS
    OhTurdFergussenlynklaternoirhaikuBookishSlackerOhighIsismidnitesocFingers_of_FuryStefanieanie
    jeanieville
  • JohnLyonTweets
      John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets

    Movie idea: Family moves into haunted house; ghosts appear; family too busy staring at phones to notice; ghosts leave in disgust.

    • 443
    • FAVS
    PressOneForNoGarageGlamourgianni_bcniloveskyrim71DestineyLynndzacharandaiRdnucarpKimgee8
    • 183
    • RETWEETS
    gianni_bcnDestineyLynncarlielynccnomadGinaBecker111Tisilkiner1FuneralwomanKathy_Cooperman
    DallyDoll
@JohnLyonTweets

@JohnLyonTweets

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