@breakingnews I should stop following you just for this.

According to @klout, @robdelaney is influential about Humor, Comedy, and Katy Perry http://t.co/eAHcLwr9

If you travel anywhere after noon tomorrow you're pretty much gonna die #blizzard

Seems like my philosophy of life so far has been to take a bad idea and just run with it.

Quiz: Has anyone seen a CL&P truck anywhere, doing anything, within the last 9 days? You know, the orange ones, from OUR state.

If you're allergic to peanuts maybe being a human being isn't for you.

If all these singles I have were 100 dollar bills I'd have $1500

@cnnbrk Horribly misleading title, have you guys lost it over there? Did you read the story before you titled it?

"In the year 2000 we're all gonna die." #best90squotes

I don't give my cat a Twitter account because I know he'll start tweeting stuff like "9/11 was a cover-up". He's not right in the head.

Someone OD'd down the street #PoliceScanner

Browsing the "People You May Know" on Facebook makes me physically ill.

If being an adult means not giggling when a "Cox" Cable commercial comes on then I want none of it.

Screw the park, this is what you should be doing, occupying Bank of America and shutting down their business. Do more of this please #occupy

The search is on to find a @ctlightandpower truck out actually working! Bet you can't find one!

RIP cool Greek kid I knew in High School

Hey Bank of America! Fuck you!

I bought an iPad!! Just kidding, I wouldn't buy that shit.

Pisses me off that my 18 y/o gay stepson isn't a stereotypical gay, he hates the Tony awards

@coasttocoastam Thinking about one of those online petitions to get John B Wells off the air