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LL Cool J wrote the toughest song ever about doing whatever your mother says.
Whenever I get a retweet at 10:31 pacific on Friday night, I know someone at a bar is not being listened to.
"If we ALL get neck tattoos, it won't matter. They gotta hire someone!" - a huge section of society
Have you seen Dave Grohl's new documentary, "My Life is Better Than All of Yours?"
OK, conservatives, it's a mental health issue, not a gun issue? So you'll want universal health insurance so people can get therapy, right?
No one has ever loved mayonnaise as much as the creator of McDonald's Chicken Sandwich thinks we all do.
Why are you fighting, bloggers and comedians? We can BOTH be self important but actually irrelevant!
Full House is more fun when you watch it with the subtext that Saget killed the mom, Coulier knows, but Stamos doesn't.
Remember when Jesus was elected by a hundred men with servants and mansions in his castle full of gold in his own city? Oh, right.
@kylekinane PLEASE DO NOT NOTICE THAT WE HAVE APPROPRIATED A CLEARLY MEXICAN FOOD ITEM INTO A FANTASY OF IDEALIZED WHITE MASCULINITY -Pace
Do you like apples? Well I got her number. I bet that's something that you don't like. #AwfulFirstDraftDialogue
What stage of alcoholism is doing a photo shoot of your margarita and putting it on the Internet?
Checking Tweets for Favs and RT's feels exactly like a slot machine that pays out in ego.
It's time for Ice Cube to release another album of raw uncensored rhymes, but this time about how he is the undisputed king of kids' movies.
1 Kofta Kabob plate and a side of two falafels, please. And a Pepsi.
