A Tweet: In 140 chars or less, find a way to describe your miserable life in a humorous way.

What's 80 mph in Celsius?

"Your cat comes in my yard again, I'm gonna fuck it." ~ i did not say this.

My Employee Firing skills are equivalent to my GF Break-Up skills.
I slowly make them miserable until they decide to quit.

Hold this Tweet up to the Light to see the Hidden joke.

Not sure what is causing me more stress,
Work or
Trying to write a star worthy tweet every time.

5 days ago i started following DJ AM. . . . . . . . . . He hasn't said anything. . . . . . . Is it too soon to drop him?

Girls, Can we assign a "no poop joke" day? ! Until Twitter, I didn't think girls shat, farted or passed gas. Damn, those were prettier days!

I want to rub my Fuzzy avatar against your face.

Pro-Tip: For the Self-Employed, Behind on Work, & Late on Bills;

☠ Avoid Twitter ! ☠

Have accidently become friends with Off-Duty Strippers.
I am looking forward to this!

How long do you work on a tweet before you ask yourself . .
"What the Fuck I am doing?, Go do something useful."

I Have a Dream . . . . . . .

That one day I can shower without thinking about Twitter.

(This isn't a Tweet)

Pro-Tip: Follow Your Own Pro-Tip Advice.

I’ll have time to sleep when Twitter’s dead.

I hate tweeting about money, banks, bills, or turtle fucking.
Because those things start "following" you.

. . . . . around the lake.

Twitter is my sandbox.

Bio: Howdy and welcome to my Twitter profile! I'm Adrian and love to watch movies.
If this is your lame Bio, you are next on the drop list.

Funny. Putting $10 of gas in a 10-Cylinder Truck, does Not remove the "Low Fuel" message.