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  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    The "Slow Children Playing" signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?

    • 556
    • FAVS
    abhorrent_wifefillthevacuumGDNRS524LackOfShameamydillonTmoney68ImportantestSureshMKothari
    • 95
    • RETWEETS
    abhorrent_wifefillthevacuumLackOfShameImportantestHShep101616SureshMKotharimarksmyth27patcoholic
    CVTBabylvvzz
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.

    • 449
    • FAVS
    fillthevacuumSashaBuchanan1Katie_Knipmeyerrexaurus89zwergie1BossyBritches72nourotweetsSawyerFouts
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    SashaBuchanan1Smith2RobnourotweetsPirate_TwinkieLiseLasalledivadeb99myles000007TheMicahtron
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    I just hope I never encounter the sheep responsible for steel wool.

    • 287
    • FAVS
    fillthevacuumcrawley73EljieLaurenBeingMewithOCDsammerten12Cheeseboy22Old_Enkib4sage
    • 100
    • RETWEETS
    fillthevacuumMoKizzle_HandurdealtMisss_Lady_Maamb4sageCyd10eHappynerd73HuajatollaChic
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Lady, the way you drive I can only assume that the stick figures on your minivan signify the number of people you hit.

    • 297
    • FAVS
    amydillonTmoney68Importantestteachthekidsheatherlou_Mr_Role_Modelandlaughter101PolhunterP
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    mohziyaadHShep101616teachthekidsheatherlou_lianke977Deurb1MentalDV8davidhilz0508
    renojenn__________
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    The person who said change is inevitable obviously didn't use this vending machine.

    • 296
    • FAVS
    jimmykinkadenourotweetsJohnLyonTweetsCheeseboy22Tmoney68SureshMKothariheatherlou_CanadianMclovin
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    AAceLimosSuzy_LauranourotweetsJohnLyonTweetsSureshMKothariheatherlou_bourgeoisalienOH_GAWD_OF_FUNK
    Arroia
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    So Neil Armstrong passes and Snooki goes into labor. Possibly the most horrifying example yet of one door closes, another opens.

    • 108
    • FAVS
    bitch_o_maticorasmussen_youlooklikeamomRunwayDanTmoney68heatherlou_CanadianMclovinSerialFuckup
    • 221
    • RETWEETS
    Tmoney68heatherlou_CarpentersCrackdebcbrownSuMoRestersilent_musingsminafisheyesvinfury
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    More people are killed by donkeys than plane crashes. But if your pilot is a donkey you may have reason to be concerned.

    • 210
    • FAVS
    BigBec43kodekukimbitch_o_maticJYoung2319BigMedwardsNinjaSweatpantsSmuggleableTmoney68
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    TshepiVSWorldNinjaSweatpantsTmoney68SureshMKothariheatherlou_IMBeanztattootartsimoncook1
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Maybe today is a good day to try that quiet desperation I've heard so much about.

    • 208
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68heatherlou_CanadianMclovinVioletMusinggorgeouscompanyOH_GAWD_OF_FUNKsilent_musingsunFinishdObject
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    heatherlou__oculusmundiOH_GAWD_OF_FUNKMoe_Lee_david_tullzero3_benzhbreaker9999CVTBaby
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Kanye says his relationship with Kim is like Romeo & Juliet. Surprisingly good news since we all know how that worked out.

    • 117
    • FAVS
    BoggsAnitaPetrickSara24HourBitchingTmoney68angelmcclain21nocombnobrushheatherlou_silent_musings
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    misspineapple7524HourBitchingHighlyIngeniousHarsh_teacherangelmcclain21nocombnobrushheatherlou_Moe_Lee_
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    So far, too much day and too little hump.

    • 173
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68HighlyIngeniousheatherlou_silent_musingsthe_anastasiathegatekeeper50cynthia2684unFinishdObject
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    heatherlou_thegatekeeper50epiphany1978Moe_Lee_RLopez617MkjkfitzgeraldAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    How cute; Twitter has 140 employees. And I thought I had OCD issues.

    • 158
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68nocombnobrushmoody_moiheatherlou_silent_musingsVice_Queensquirrel74wkgnSolelyB
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    nocombnobrushheatherlou_hbreaker9999PrecociousLil____liketheTEATylerStillsbusynessNitaino
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Welcome to 09-09-09, or as our German friends say, "No, No, No!"

    • 165
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68silent_musingssquirrel74wkgnzero3_benzSolelyBLorieGZArroia_Mo_lee_
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedMoe_Lee_hbreaker9999lishybee__________FredendilAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Recent news suggests that Facebook contributes to divorce due to "inappropriate sexual chats". Apparently, I'm SO doing FB wrong.

    • 155
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68vexroidallthingspoeticVice_Queensquirrel74wkgnSolelyBzero3_benzcalamitydaisy
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedMoe_Lee_yalsI_nosnikdoHVice_Queenzero3_benzhbreaker9999wendyraepearcewhatitis112
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Wow; what a surprise. Movie theater popcorn is unhealthy. In related news: water is wet.

    • 152
    • FAVS
    24HourBitchingTmoney68silent_musingsjustchristal2_Mins_HateVice_QueenRobLikesToYellsquirrel74wkgn
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    24HourBitchingasianlizardSamaad_AhmedMoe_Lee_squirrel74wkgnzero3_benzhbreaker9999wendyraepearce
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    This is what happens when you populate a jury with people not smart enough to get out of jury duty.

    • 123
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68silent_musingsbuffalodoctorSolelyBzero3_benzArroia_Mo_lee_frk_maria
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedjustchristalMoe_Lee_zero3_benzhbreaker9999dgasparettifavstar1000favstop_tw_funny
    DDDBU____________snarkanoid
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Finally got a follow from a porn bot. I was beginning to worry that they thought I wasn't interested.

    • 138
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68silent_musingsbuffalodoctor2_Mins_HateVice_Queendavid_tullSolelyBzero3_benz
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Moe_Lee_david_tullzero3_benzhbreaker9999favstar1000favsFredendilAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Although not available here, In-N-Out Burgers sounds to me like porno. I'll have to be satisfied by Five Guys. That doesn't sound right.

    • 129
    • FAVS
    K_peaceTmoney68david_tullSolelyBzero3_benzdcarsoncArroia_Mo_lee_
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    AhmetTheSailorMoe_Lee_david_tullzero3_benzhbreaker9999CaptainFadeawayGQatHUfavstar1000favs
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Only 4% of the population is on Twitter. If those numbers go up, we're going to need a bigger whale.

    • 127
    • FAVS
    Tmoney68david_tullSolelyBzero3_benzhbreaker9999LorieGZArroia_Mo_lee_
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Moe_Lee_GQatHUMariusMeyerfavstar1000favsAvatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Why don't they just make Waldo wear one of those GPS tracking ankle bracelets to save us all the drama of finding him?

    • 119
    • FAVS
    shitbeany2__K_peaceDairyAir69Tmoney68LorieGZdavid_tullbeccafacexoSolelyB
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    Moe_Lee_zero3_benzhbreaker9999lorlorlori________SuperFluffSaysfavstar1000favscryanken__CanadianCyn
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Thanks for including "get off elevator" in Hospital directions. Because I actually though diagnostic procedures took place on elevator.

    • 119
    • FAVS
    TrueTorontoGirlTmoney68SolelyBzero3_benzLorieGZwendyraepearceArroia_Mo_lee_
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Moe_Lee_hbreaker9999JoyKnowsfavstar1000favsAvatar_unknown_48
@John_M15

@John_M15

I've been meaning to change this; maybe tomorrow. (memo to self: include procrastination as a hobby in new bio)

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