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  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    The "Slow Children Playing" signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?

    • 502
    • FAVS
    lllvvvzzzSammySkinnspartiallyproSweet_Leafs_eveesmildcarsoncSolelyBLorieGZ
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    lllvvvzzzFavstar500FavseveesmilCVTBabySarcastioustwilley_youngcynic98Jenny4ashley
    CVTBabylvvzz
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.

    • 358
    • FAVS
    CVTBabydcarsoncSolelyBLorieGZICountBeansscandace_9871twilley_youngSteffanyBeddes
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    Jenny4ashley_Mo_lee_mbsphotogAlanaisnoangelHurricane_TimmySexySpainNightsfilthybeggar1santhonythomas
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    So Neil Armstrong passes and Snooki goes into labor. Possibly the most horrifying example yet of one door closes, another opens.

    • 83
    • FAVS
    CVTBabydcarsoncSolelyBLorieGZLawHasToWork______6HESS7RamosOnTheRocksFondelMaddick
    • 208
    • RETWEETS
    The1OnlyWBRkarakazooJenny4ashleyGNIJIYnyybrittkcmandolathomasweaverKaityColls
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Lady, the way you drive I can only assume that the stick figures on your minivan signify the number of people you hit.

    • 248
    • FAVS
    SolelyBLorieGZNotawhinerArroiasanthonythomasfrk_mariaBeccaPianorachellinfox______
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    CVTBabyhadafewbeersProfessor_RyanBeenToHellPalReadTheRipper____FGsPlayThingxGingerAvengerkatniiip
    renojenn__________
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    The person who said change is inevitable obviously didn't use this vending machine.

    • 235
    • FAVS
    CVTBabydcarsoncSolelyBLorieGZICountBeanssBobbyBucchaewendyraepearceNotawhiner
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    wendyraepearceDuniBoiolievlhg47verity33Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    I just hope I never encounter the sheep responsible for steel wool.

    • 183
    • FAVS
    ImaFlyontheWallCVTBabySolelyBLorieGZICountBeanssmarcy_sBobbyBucchaewendyraepearce
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    CVTBabywendyraepearceTheHolyBootBobLogIVn8thanfPaul_DrennenThedevilinme64Stexcy
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Maybe today is a good day to try that quiet desperation I've heard so much about.

    • 193
    • FAVS
    SolelyBLorieGZchrismerrillolievlmarcy_swendyraepearceArroiasanthonythomas
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    CVTBabyolievlwendyraepearcerachellinfox______BettineolivejuicymorselAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    More people are killed by donkeys than plane crashes. But if your pilot is a donkey you may have reason to be concerned.

    • 182
    • FAVS
    dcarsoncSolelyBLorieGZwendyraepearceArroia_Mo_lee_frk_mariahadafewbeers
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    thebearcatdanTheDairylandDonCanadianCynElao256Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Welcome to 09-09-09, or as our German friends say, "No, No, No!"

    • 161
    • FAVS
    SolelyBLorieGZArroia_Mo_lee_frk_mariahadafewbeerslorlorlori________zapmyass
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    lishybee__________FredendilAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    How cute; Twitter has 140 employees. And I thought I had OCD issues.

    • 148
    • FAVS
    dcarsoncLorieGZwendyraepearceArroia_Mo_lee_frk_mariaBeccaPianohadafewbeers
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    PrecociousLil____liketheTEATylerStillsbusynessNitainoMitchBurkeaharpazfavstar1000favs
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    So far, too much day and too little hump.

    • 160
    • FAVS
    Arroia_Mo_lee_BeccaPianorachellinfox______hadafewbeerslorlorlori________lishybee__________hg47
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Rhoffman20Mkjkfitzgerald
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Recent news suggests that Facebook contributes to divorce due to "inappropriate sexual chats". Apparently, I'm SO doing FB wrong.

    • 148
    • FAVS
    thedaisycomplexwendyraepearceArroiafrk_mariaAmeiamhadafewbeerslorlorlori________lishybee__________
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    wendyraepearcewhatitis112Fredendil
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Kanye says his relationship with Kim is like Romeo & Juliet. Surprisingly good news since we all know how that worked out.

    • 88
    • FAVS
    dcarsoncLorieGZpokepochahontasbklynmike3SmurfetteDEidlemindofbethbillingsboysCaballoNegrito
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    SS401kathycaissieKristipoo86gordon_gzmechjudetxlauriestrode77jccj300LetoileSan
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Wow; what a surprise. Movie theater popcorn is unhealthy. In related news: water is wet.

    • 141
    • FAVS
    LorieGZedwardsnathnwendyraepearceArroia_Mo_lee_hadafewbeerslorlorlori________BeenToHellPal
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    wendyraepearceskybri69__________StephenBCrameranwar02faisal_asiffavstar1000favsEdithMacrotchFredendil
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    This is what happens when you populate a jury with people not smart enough to get out of jury duty.

    • 118
    • FAVS
    Arroia_Mo_lee_frk_mariaToy_A101hadafewbeerslorlorlori________lishybee__________hg47
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    dgasparettifavstar1000favstop_tw_funnyorganizdchaos8CDBoudreaueasy1jennBorderBrothererika_sings86
    DDDBU____________snarkanoid
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Although not available here, In-N-Out Burgers sounds to me like porno. I'll have to be satisfied by Five Guys. That doesn't sound right.

    • 124
    • FAVS
    dcarsoncArroia_Mo_lee_hadafewbeerslorlorlori________lishybee__________hg47lvvzz
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    CaptainFadeawayGQatHUfavstar1000favsEdithMacrotchFredendilAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Finally got a follow from a porn bot. I was beginning to worry that they thought I wasn't interested.

    • 130
    • FAVS
    wendyraepearceArroiafrk_mariahadafewbeerslorlorlori________lishybee__________hg47lvvzz
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    favstar1000favsFredendil
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Only 4% of the population is on Twitter. If those numbers go up, we're going to need a bigger whale.

    • 122
    • FAVS
    LorieGZArroia_Mo_lee_Toy_A101hadafewbeerslorlorlori________lishybee__________hg47
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    GQatHUMariusMeyerfavstar1000favsAvatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Thanks for including "get off elevator" in Hospital directions. Because I actually though diagnostic procedures took place on elevator.

    • 115
    • FAVS
    LorieGZwendyraepearceArroia_Mo_lee_Toy_A101hadafewbeerslorlorlori________lvvzz
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    JoyKnowsfavstar1000favsAvatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Why don't they just make Waldo wear one of those GPS tracking ankle bracelets to save us all the drama of finding him?

    • 110
    • FAVS
    wendyraepearceArroiahadafewbeersStumpWoodleypaul_shinnlorlorlori________lvvzzAspersioncast
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    lorlorlori________SuperFluffSaysfavstar1000favscryankenCanadianCyn
@John_M15

@John_M15

I've been meaning to change this; maybe tomorrow. (memo to self: include procrastination as a hobby in new bio)