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  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    The "Slow Children Playing" signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?

    • 518
    • FAVS
    jannable9Kathy_ZemanKaylaKFosterDeurb1DearAbbySimonsquirrel74wkgnpigeonpuddingDigHerUp
    • 60
    • RETWEETS
    Deurb1Glove_MonkeyTheColinOBrienbohdisativaGrimAmazonWickedRapunzelvinfuryCassiaL
    CVTBabylvvzz
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.

    • 384
    • FAVS
    jannable9Drivelodeonidiositydavid_tullDeurb1beccafacexoDearAbbySimonRobLikesToYell
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullDeurb1squirrel74wkgnGlove_MonkeyvinfuryMoe_Lee_zero3_benzhbreaker9999
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    The person who said change is inevitable obviously didn't use this vending machine.

    • 277
    • FAVS
    jannable9Drivelodeondavid_tullDeurb1DearAbbySimonShelShockYouRobLikesToYellMweezus
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullDeurb1ShelShockYouRobLikesToYellsquirrel74wkgntoyotaman1988GinGanderGanderGin
    Arroia
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Lady, the way you drive I can only assume that the stick figures on your minivan signify the number of people you hit.

    • 272
    • FAVS
    jannable9ElleEyeZee_KlarHypercraxyhollyberrynessdavid_tullPurpleSwtPotatoKathy_Zemansquirrel74wkgn
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullKathy_Zemanvinfurykgbkyle420SolelyBthoughtgasmsMoe_Lee_zero3_benz
    renojenn__________
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    So Neil Armstrong passes and Snooki goes into labor. Possibly the most horrifying example yet of one door closes, another opens.

    • 94
    • FAVS
    jannable9david_tullsquirrel74wkgnJyrkkanenKjvinfurysmhall152zero3_benzjorgegambroa
    • 214
    • RETWEETS
    vinfuryMoe_Lee_hbreaker9999Chisa_aloha420kellydaemonic3IllNeverBekarakazoo
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    I just hope I never encounter the sheep responsible for steel wool.

    • 191
    • FAVS
    jannable9Hypercraxydavid_tullJohnLyonTweetsdonnisquirrel74wkgnzero3_benzjaredprice
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    Hypercraxydavid_tullTheColinOBrienzero3_benzhbreaker9999CVTBabywendyraepearceTheHolyBoot
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Maybe today is a good day to try that quiet desperation I've heard so much about.

    • 199
    • FAVS
    jannable9david_tullJohnLyonTweetsbeccafacexosquirrel74wkgnzero3_benzSolelyBLorieGZ
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullzero3_benzhbreaker9999CVTBabyolievlwendyraepearcerachellinfox______Bettineolive
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    More people are killed by donkeys than plane crashes. But if your pilot is a donkey you may have reason to be concerned.

    • 189
    • FAVS
    OutofmyIndyheadKnobstradamusandyfwhiteJohnLyonTweetsbeccafacexosquirrel74wkgnzero3_benzdcarsonc
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    JohnLyonTweetshbreaker9999thebearcatdanTheDairylandDonCanadianCynElao256Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    So far, too much day and too little hump.

    • 164
    • FAVS
    squirrel74wkgnSolelyBzero3_benzhbreaker9999Arroia_Mo_lee_BeccaPianorachellinfox______
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Rhoffman20MkjkfitzgeraldAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    How cute; Twitter has 140 employees. And I thought I had OCD issues.

    • 152
    • FAVS
    squirrel74wkgnSolelyBzero3_benzarmyantstudiosdcarsoncLorieGZwendyraepearceArroia
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    hbreaker9999PrecociousLil____liketheTEATylerStillsbusynessNitainoMitchBurkeaharpaz
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Welcome to 09-09-09, or as our German friends say, "No, No, No!"

    • 163
    • FAVS
    squirrel74wkgnzero3_benzSolelyBLorieGZArroia_Mo_lee_frk_mariahadafewbeers
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    hbreaker9999lishybee__________FredendilAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Kanye says his relationship with Kim is like Romeo & Juliet. Surprisingly good news since we all know how that worked out.

    • 95
    • FAVS
    andyfwhiteSirCasioKL7000bitchkriegJustSomeGingedavid_tullSolelyBzero3_benzdcarsonc
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    SirCasioKL7000bitchkriegdavid_tullzero3_benzhbreaker9999SS401kathycaissieKristipoo86
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Recent news suggests that Facebook contributes to divorce due to "inappropriate sexual chats". Apparently, I'm SO doing FB wrong.

    • 151
    • FAVS
    squirrel74wkgnSolelyBzero3_benzthedaisycomplexwendyraepearceArroiafrk_mariaAmeiam
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    zero3_benzhbreaker9999wendyraepearcewhatitis112FredendilAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Wow; what a surprise. Movie theater popcorn is unhealthy. In related news: water is wet.

    • 146
    • FAVS
    RobLikesToYellsquirrel74wkgnHD222222SolelyBzero3_benzLorieGZedwardsnathnwendyraepearce
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    squirrel74wkgnzero3_benzhbreaker9999wendyraepearceskybri69__________StephenBCrameranwar02faisal_asif
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    This is what happens when you populate a jury with people not smart enough to get out of jury duty.

    • 120
    • FAVS
    SolelyBzero3_benzArroia_Mo_lee_frk_mariaToy_A101hadafewbeerslorlorlori________
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    zero3_benzhbreaker9999dgasparettifavstar1000favstop_tw_funnyorganizdchaos8CDBoudreaueasy1jenn
    DDDBU____________snarkanoid
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Finally got a follow from a porn bot. I was beginning to worry that they thought I wasn't interested.

    • 133
    • FAVS
    david_tullSolelyBzero3_benzwendyraepearceArroiafrk_mariahadafewbeerslorlorlori________
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullzero3_benzhbreaker9999favstar1000favsFredendilAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Although not available here, In-N-Out Burgers sounds to me like porno. I'll have to be satisfied by Five Guys. That doesn't sound right.

    • 127
    • FAVS
    david_tullSolelyBzero3_benzdcarsoncArroia_Mo_lee_hadafewbeerslorlorlori________
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullzero3_benzhbreaker9999CaptainFadeawayGQatHUfavstar1000favsEdithMacrotchFredendil
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Only 4% of the population is on Twitter. If those numbers go up, we're going to need a bigger whale.

    • 126
    • FAVS
    david_tullSolelyBzero3_benzhbreaker9999LorieGZArroia_Mo_lee_Toy_A101
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    GQatHUMariusMeyerfavstar1000favsAvatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Why don't they just make Waldo wear one of those GPS tracking ankle bracelets to save us all the drama of finding him?

    • 114
    • FAVS
    david_tullbeccafacexoSolelyBzero3_benzwendyraepearceArroiahadafewbeersStumpWoodley
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    zero3_benzhbreaker9999lorlorlori________SuperFluffSaysfavstar1000favscryankenCanadianCynAvatar_unknown_48
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Thanks for including "get off elevator" in Hospital directions. Because I actually though diagnostic procedures took place on elevator.

    • 117
    • FAVS
    SolelyBzero3_benzLorieGZwendyraepearceArroia_Mo_lee_Toy_A101hadafewbeers
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    hbreaker9999JoyKnowsfavstar1000favsAvatar_unknown_48
@John_M15

@John_M15

I've been meaning to change this; maybe tomorrow. (memo to self: include procrastination as a hobby in new bio)