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  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Gift @John_M15 Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 647
    • LIKES
    dreamthievinACourtesanObeyLadyAshleyMattMcC1TattleTSisterScorpio1080becabirdAZHORSEMOM77
    • 138
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    TattleTSisterbecabirdAZHORSEMOM77crazytraci72mejustbethenvydatropicHolycrapitsaKaturmumsausername
    CVTBabylvvzz
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.

    • 535
    • LIKES
    BirdhummsenvydatropicthestlouisanUnderchildetheevilwriterPorn_n_ChickenStarrier_Nightsmattmanic
    • 102
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    BirdhummsenvydatropicUnderchildePorn_n_ChickenStarrier_NightsLnL245Ellierocks2013cseaBiiRD
    CamusOverEasy
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    I just hope I never encounter the sheep responsible for steel wool.

    • 397
    • LIKES
    TattooedMiseryhunz74dreamthievinTheLoveOfSheepsTheyCall_Me_DocHobo_SplendidoWayneGreenstoneAnt_F3ltz
    • 178
    • RETWEETS
    hunz74TheLoveOfSheepsspacewhale12Hobo_SplendidoWayneGreenstoneDamn_its_SeanAnt_F3ltzBirdhumms
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Lady, the way you drive I can only assume that the stick figures on your minivan signify the number of people you hit.

    • 389
    • LIKES
    dreamthievinenvydatropicMyDrunkTravelYourMidwestMomPaleGurlPWDarlingtonPetrickSaraEllierocks2013
    • 104
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    renojenn__________
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    The person who said change is inevitable obviously didn't use this vending machine.

    • 345
    • LIKES
    Bill98274201ClydeSteeljaggedapeHobo_SplendidoBirdhummsenvydatropicPaleGurlActualWolves
    • 78
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    Arroia
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    So Neil Armstrong passes and Snooki goes into labor. Possibly the most horrifying example yet of one door closes, another opens.

    • 137
    • LIKES
    envydatropicthestlouisanPaleGurlHormonellaj_cohlayyclay47ednitionMakesYouGiggle
    • 231
    • RETWEETS
    envydatropicdineshgada1973BlondAmbitionTOJjkinky49JeffMartaEffingMourningGlory___DearAuntAbbywendysredryon
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Saw an article on Facebook that a local bank was robbed. It had one like. They should probably look at that person as the robbery suspect.

    • 221
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    WittyHendrixgianni_bcnNiksterellaBreathe_ttHobo_Splendidostrangerbabblefwan8sgtblueeyes
    • 137
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    Angrytrashmandietredbull
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    More people are killed by donkeys than plane crashes. But if your pilot is a donkey you may have reason to be concerned.

    • 234
    • LIKES
    don_haworthEdwinaCrumpleenvydatropicurmumsausernamePaleGurlAngrytrashmanayyclay47ednition
    • 41
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    don_haworthEdwinaCrumpleSalazargus3envydatropicurmumsausernameRlpihlAngrytrashmanBlondAmbitionTO
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Kanye says his relationship with Kim is like Romeo & Juliet. Surprisingly good news since we all know how that worked out.

    • 159
    • LIKES
    LnL245AngrytrashmanLilBlackRncloudgufawwMoJundijdemboyzpdtv_infoViewFromAskew
    • 101
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    AngrytrashmanudaysahadevanGorillaOdiViewFromAskewdjcampbSmuttWhispererMolotovJohnnyT_A_Whitney
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Maybe today is a good day to try that quiet desperation I've heard so much about.

    • 221
    • LIKES
    IamMichaelDankLnL245LilBlackRncloudDearAuntAbbyBlondAmbitionTODerick549MutedCatfish__HatfieldAnne
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    IamMichaelDankDearAuntAbbyMutedCatfish__wendysredryonScott_A_Gilmoreheatherlou__oculusmundiOH_GAWD_OF_FUNK
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    So far, too much day and too little hump.

    • 184
    • LIKES
    BirdhummsthestlouisanBlondAmbitionTODerick549EvileSkullPrero22WordNonsenseDanKCharnley
    • 18
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  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    How cute; Twitter has 140 employees. And I thought I had OCD issues.

    • 170
    • LIKES
    DearAuntAbbyLnL245BlondAmbitionTOPaleGurlDerick549Prero22WordNonsenseDanKCharnley
    • 27
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    DearAuntAbbydineshgada1973Derick549Prero22wendysredryonScott_A_Gilmorenocombnobrushheatherlou_
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Recent news suggests that Facebook contributes to divorce due to "inappropriate sexual chats". Apparently, I'm SO doing FB wrong.

    • 171
    • LIKES
    zinni426j_cohlDidjaXMittenFacedLadBlondAmbitionTOAngrytrashmanDearAuntAbbyLilBlackRncloud
    • 20
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    zinni426BlondAmbitionTOAngrytrashmanDearAuntAbbyJulie_McGann1wendysredryonviolet_heartinScott_A_Gilmore
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Wow; what a surprise. Movie theater popcorn is unhealthy. In related news: water is wet.

    • 167
    • LIKES
    LnL245BlondAmbitionTOtxlsugirlAngrytrashmanLilBlackRncloudDerick549MutedCatfish__WordNonsense
    • 23
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    LnL245txlsugirlAngrytrashmanMutedCatfish__shakenbakegurlwendysredryonviolet_heartinScott_A_Gilmore
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Welcome to 09-09-09, or as our German friends say, "No, No, No!"

    • 175
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    LnL245BlondAmbitionTOLilBlackRncloudDerick549CoLiN69JScott_A_GilmoreshakenbakegurlHatfieldAnne
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  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    This is what happens when you populate a jury with people not smart enough to get out of jury duty.

    • 135
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    House_Of_RamaLnL245LilBlackRncloudfanofEMichaelGoffLA__Derick549RobertgrizzlyPJulie_McGann1
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    DDDBU____________snarkanoid
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Once again Rick Perry puts The Onion's ability to write ridiculous headlines to shame.

    • 126
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    Derick549Scott_A_GilmorejkramblesSuMacDandietredbullTheOrnithologi1busynessVirgoSherry
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  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Finally got a follow from a porn bot. I was beginning to worry that they thought I wasn't interested.

    • 148
    • LIKES
    Derick549Prero22Julie_McGann1WordNonsenseshakenbakegurlDanKCharnleywendysredryonviolet_heartin
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    Prero22Julie_McGann1wendysredryonScott_A_Gilmorenumbmacchiatodavid_tullzero3_benzhbreaker9999
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Although not available here, In-N-Out Burgers sounds to me like porno. I'll have to be satisfied by Five Guys. That doesn't sound right.

    • 135
    • LIKES
    LnL245Derick549WordNonsenseDanKCharnleywendysredryonScott_A_GilmoreK_peace__Tmoney68
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    wendysredryonScott_A_GilmoreAhmetTheSailornumbmacchiatodavid_tullzero3_benzhbreaker9999CaptainFadeaway
  • John_M15
      John M @John_M15

    Only 4% of the population is on Twitter. If those numbers go up, we're going to need a bigger whale.

    • 137
    • LIKES
    Derick549WordNonsenseBagio_AnthonyshakenbakegurlDanKCharnleywendysredryonBeerhazePVennemann
    • 8
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    Bagio_AnthonywendysredryonScott_A_GilmorenumbmacchiatoGQatHU__MariusMeyerfavstar1000favsPurple
@John_M15

@John_M15

I've been meaning to change this; maybe tomorrow. (memo to self: include procrastination as a hobby in new bio)

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