@JohnnyChimpo's (John F. Chimpo) most faved Tweets...
I bought a new pair of Air Jordans. Their best feature: How cool they look as I sit on the couch smokin weed watching Spongebob Squarepants
I'm sure a dream of 2 guys riding a dolphin together means nothing. It's just 2 guys. Riding a dolphin. Together.
Right?
Someone please..
Right?
Someone please..
There is nothing like waking up to a blow-job on a Sunday morning!
...anybody what to get on that for me?
...anybody what to get on that for me?
I look like a proud young lion that has just killed & eaten a gazelle.Cept the blood on my face is choc. ice cream & I'm old, fat, & slow.
I finally finished that macaroni necklace for my dad that I started 28 years ago.
Related: When is fathers day again?
Related: When is fathers day again?
DAMN, it's cold! I can see my own breasts!
Shit, no no no, I meant breath! Really I meant breath.
Ok, alright... I can see both.
Shit, no no no, I meant breath! Really I meant breath.
Ok, alright... I can see both.
Evidently I've been walking around all morning with a booger in the stache part of my gotee. Yay!
My friends are dicks.
My friends are dicks.
So, I'm giving this hobo a reach around, and it totally occurs to me - I haven't paid my fucking taxes this year!
Thanks Dave for making me wait over an hour for ya. I drank your beer and jacked off in your living room. Somewhere. Have fun with that.
QQ to anyone that has ever snorted coke off of a strippers ass:
Do crabs ever work their way back out?
...or do I gotta snort & hock em?
Do crabs ever work their way back out?
...or do I gotta snort & hock em?
Just reading the possible side effects of my new back pain meds.
yada yada yada... Oh, constipation and back pain.
That kinda sucks.
yada yada yada... Oh, constipation and back pain.
That kinda sucks.
It's been brought to my immediate attention that the poop in the chute is exponentially larger than the vessel that allows it to pass. 0.o
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