Hey, guys with pony tails. What is this, the 90's? Throw that hair up into a top knot like a real man. Save the whales.

I can't hold that many grapes in my mouth. Like maybe 6 grapes.

might buy some jnco jeans in case I need to carry anything really big in my pockets or maybe like two medium sized things.

Like sand through the hourglass, counting by Mississippis is not a reliable way of keeping time.

Lol guy in the Infiniti G35 you paid too much for a car with no turn signals haha even Daewoos have turn signals you should drive a Daewoo!

I know I've done two alcohol related tweets in a row but I'm not an alcoholic, I just crush a lot.

It would be a totally different movie if it was called "Bad News, Bears". Punctuation can change the world. Stay in school.

i do like pina coladas but i don't like getting caught in the rain cuz who really wants rain water in their pina coladas anyways?

Drinking heavily in a family restaurant. What are you up to?

The friend of my enemy is my enemy. The enemy of my enemy is an acquaintance I don't really know but may have been friendly to in passing.

rarely are people ever in shallow shit, mister.

My favorite alcoholic beverage is a Black & Tan cuz I'm no racist.

pain? yeah i know pain. pulling out nose hairs with your fingers and seeing the tears drip down your face. that's pain.

The music world has lost another pioneer. RIP Robin Gibb.

I like to start conversations by stating my height weight and how much I can bench press - which happens to be 260 lbs btw.

I like sweet n' sour sauce because I like to party.

just saw a stack of cash on tv that I wish was my stack of cash

.@hadzilla @thee_mikey_b PhoneCenter case race. That is all.

Stayed up watching 007 movies til 2am. Woke up with the urge to buy a laser gun wrist watch.

Hey @emoryuniversity $5 paintball passes for #PaintballAtlanta at the DUC! #Emory #EmoryUniversity #Paintball #Atlanta  http://lockerz.com/s/253880613