HAHAHA COMPUTER YOU THOUGHT YOU SCREWED ME! LOOK WHO'S SCREWING NOW!

If this is bigoted, retweet---> "RT @itsdannytosh: If you are on God’s side, retweet this. If you’re on the Devil’s side, keep scrolling."

THAT SAUSAGE YOU GAVE ME TASTED DELICIOUS no homo

@realdjpremier I was blasting out 'Voices' by you & Blaq Po' on my Adam Audio S3X-Hs. My 60 y/o German mother was like, "That's AMAZING!"

Preview of my 1st album's last track, because @n3xuz asked, and @sir_lag bigged me up: http://t.co/YQh44rV

#FF @degrassination @johnnymassacre @yelenacg @jackflawless @itsandreaa27 @ednnabonnsu @pbieberj @heyitssaaam @jessicaaluong @cheesencrackrs

@arseblog "I want to kill Arsenal." Looks like we just killed Adebuymore's career!

I'm not one for memes but that Harlem Shake shit is the greatest thing I saw this year.

I am better than most Japanese people with chopsticks I am not even joking. I even have different "stances".

This might sound weird, but seriously, "Who is the biggest cunt in football?" is an incredibly deep, philosophical question.

Titties are better than money.

I never sleep because sleep is the cousin of death.

Looking into Kim Kardashian's Twitter is like opening a box of cockroaches.

Erm, this Shibuya restaurant has its own goat in a cramped 3m pen so the customers can have fresh milk. Wtf [pic]: http://t.co/59bTIvS9

@willbradley the horror

Every night my neighbours are playing the guitar and singing badly in the apartment above me. The walls are so... http://t.co/S6zBLgOD

@willbradley I am very handsome

@morbidorable thank yoi

Just spent 5 hours in a dark Shibuya Internet cafe and had about 6 x free slurpees. Wtf just happened.

Rainbow keitei. http://t.co/aZly8kvD