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BREAKING NEWS: Prince Philip has done his back in during 'Oops Upside Your Head'. #royalweddding
Top Gear drinking game: Every time something seems a bit tired or staged, consider going to the pub instead of watching it.
Hooray! They've lifted the hosepipe ban! People can wash the shit off their carpets. #floods
Amazing. Wet grey miserable weekend and this morning the sun is streaming through the blinds like a big sarcastic yellow pillock.
Trained arty, trained killer, symbiotic dichotomy of love and destruction, in a grumpy shell.