Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
People mark my posts as favorites, but they don't RT them. I'm like the prostitute you enjoy fucking but don't introduce to your friends.
When I was 20, my knowledge of sex was like Einstein's knowledge of physics. Impressive, but largely theoretical.
I want my headstone to say "Wish You Were Here."
4 out of 5 doctors were in the bottom 80% of their graduating class.
I've run out of prozac. I'm taking amateurzac now.
The real reason so many straights oppose gay marriage: because they KNOW that gay weddings will make theirs look boring and lame.
HA! Take that Jesus!
Nick Carter is trending? Did someone set the calendar back ten years when I wasn't looking?
Taco Bell sells tacos.
Whataburger sells burgers.
Chicken Express sells chicken.
Panda Express are lying bastards!
It turns out that my bros ARE hos. I'm so confused about where my priorities should be now.
Why haven't we started putting birth control drugs into purple eye shadow yet?
Do lesbians get mad when you call them "vagitarians"?
Never mind: they're lesbians. They always get mad.
pot luck = finding a joint you thought you'd already smoked
Cyber-bullying is never cool. Unless you're picking on the Amish. 'Cause it's not like they're gonna know.
I just retweeted myself. I think that officially makes me a social media whore.
I HAD the moves like Jagger, but we eventually got my medications balanced out.
Non-flaming Homo, Progressive Populist surrounded by Libertarians, Atheist in the Bible Belt, and more than just a pretty face.