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We interrupt this twitter retirement to announce the birth of our son, Ryatt Sovereign 8lbs 7oz. This is glorious.
Lmao it's 2013 and Tommy Chong has been invited on CNN to pretty much do a touchdown dance cause pot is legal in Colorado. This rules
I'm back y'all!
Made eye contact with some guy buying CREAMY peanut butter and he quickly looked down. He knows he's a pussy, he didn't need me to tell him.
I just had to google, "What does TURN DOWN FOR WHAT mean?". I'll die of old age any day now.
I attribute 100% of my success to the D.A.R.E. program.
Apparently, I have a preexisting condition called being Mexican :(
After 19 hours. @ 9:35 am. Jack Valentine is here 8lbs 10.2 oz and 20.25 inches. It's everything I ever dreamt it would be.
I applaud the #Broncos for releasing Kyle Orton. That sinner doesn't build churches in the phillipines. FUCK HIM!
Bachmann won the straw poll. The real story is that Ron Paul almost won (150 votes). Bachmann is a gimmick. Ron Paul stands on principals
Ron Paul dominating. Using logic and historical perspective. Other candidates have no idea what they are seeing. #TweetThePress #RonPaul2012
The Spike Jonze movie "Her" is actually just a rip off of the relationship between the Spongebob characters Plankton and Karen.
Your friends look different but act the same. I look normal but act unlike anyone you've ever met.