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We interrupt this twitter retirement to announce the birth of our son, Ryatt Sovereign 8lbs 7oz. This is glorious.
My liberal parenting style just cost me 5 minutes of my absurd life explaining to a 2yr old why its not a good idea to build an indoor beach
This Twitter account is actually run by 1 kid on another kid's shoulders wearing a trench coat.
Lmao it's 2013 and Tommy Chong has been invited on CNN to pretty much do a touchdown dance cause pot is legal in Colorado. This rules
I'm back y'all!
2 parts ambien + 2 parts girlscout cookies + dash of hentai. Shake and serve warm in bed.
I love watching my kids and seeing the love they have for each other.
Meditating to regain my mana
Great news, son! When considered from the proper distance, nothing matters! Isn't that a relief? I love you
Made eye contact with some guy buying CREAMY peanut butter and he quickly looked down. He knows he's a pussy, he didn't need me to tell him.
I just had to google, "What does TURN DOWN FOR WHAT mean?". I'll die of old age any day now.
this is my jihad of love and mischief
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