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  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    i just yelled "hail satan" across the office. Everyone gasped, except for Debra. Debra slowly raised the horns.

    • 1,580
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamRunBiancaRunher_mouthDYLNSPDhola_soymilkMayIPeeNowKingOfMarsmermaid_sex
    • 807
    • RETWEETS
    mermaid_sexMrEricJenkinsJesusRulez420KingOfMarsscott_rennieTRILL_CURRYrhinotaryImOnlineLol
    RowdySailboatpoopiestwinnersusedrugswilderness_wolfBuckyIsotopechrisjooniorMrHeliotrope
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    No! I just got bit by a Dad. I feel the transformation starting *goes to Home Depot & buys materials to build a deck* I'M GONNA BUILD A DECK

    • 1,264
    • FAVS
    IJWphotoyayforcolinsquid_butt69OblivionDreamTommyECookcrashsundayJoeyWackerWakaFlockaFlem_
    • 779
    • RETWEETS
    OblivionDreamcattybogghostpowerwhatsanoventhecoolgatsbyoil_cleanermslindsayynathan_hoad
    jonnysun_Jim_Fearjolly_getterMrSpoonicornAceMakesWordsSimon_Barrett
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    The Hills have eyes. Bobby has eyes. Peggy has eyes. Hank has eyes. Ladybird has eyes. Luanne has eyes. Cotton has eyes. The Hills have eyes

    • 533
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamcultevasionlive_skate_dieRowdySailboatsunfilter__moist__radstuntstylerisajoke
    • 381
    • RETWEETS
    stonedgoldfishjamie_caryAdmiral_D_GradstuntstylerisajokeJulianGoldsteinDeath_Grapesfatsquirrell
    SPAGETTABOUTITpududeer
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    "IS IT 'COOL' AND 'IRONIC' TO HAIL ME NOW!?!?" Satan bellows as he pours lava on my dick for the 10,000th time

    • 570
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamDah_ButlahBarnCrewNipplesmeonieedanlak3JosesLovesYouvickkake____RowdySailboat
    • 257
    • RETWEETS
    meonieeisitchrisJosesLovesYouAtlasSmuggedfrickoopsreverendfryerzpsomyd____________Drew4484
    Simon_Barrettpuddingpantz
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    *tweets in 1st gear* vrrrrrrr *shifts to second gear* dildooooooo *3rd gear* scott baiooooooooooo *4th gear* denimmmm *5th gear* I'm saaaaad

    • 495
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamBarnCrewNipplesHairySkeletorcultevasionMikaelBarstadBryceKillingtonRagingPulpsex_colum
    • 188
    • RETWEETS
    assie_cheeksk8hrtirritablewenchjoshpereirakaminowitzTheCatInMyHeadGnosisNeurosisbrostoevsky
    AmSock
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    USA RULES, WE'RE NUMBER 1 (in veteran suicides) WE'RE NUMBER 1 (in incarcerations) WE'RE NUMBER 1 (in obesity)

    • 407
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamHairySkeletordanchovygill_kylea_stern_dadAleenaBethorangeuptoptigersgoroooar
    • 227
    • RETWEETS
    OblivionDreamtremplsTigerHuntamtchsdwllElliottOwenraverinserepeatdennisquaidfanjoshblaziken
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    "I WRITE JOKES ON TWITTER" i blurt out on a first date. "....M...me too" she replies. The dumbest sex ever happened that night

    • 459
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamBarnCrewNipplesHairySkeletorcultevasionJosesLovesYouRowdySailboatstreet_doggeedanchovy
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    alphonse_mambommmaaxetfizzleBryceKillingtonMeeshonaleashKenzmasterExperienceBeejxmattsciolarox
    jolly_getterlil_aracuan
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    Is it butt naked or buck naked? Is it buck wild or butt wild? Is it buck wheat or butt wheat?? Is the male deer a buck or a butt????

    • 403
    • FAVS
    MaryLauzonMikeRodiosnackpup_NinJarBeccaShanahanqueerlyobscuredickflatulencedog_smell
    • 206
    • RETWEETS
    clintonio12deathnautSebas89tShowaRDMbread_thingPissAndryTSSteinbachera_cute_bug
    dammitbabies__
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    You get to heaven. "Wtf is this" you say. Trillions of bugs are all over the place. "Oh yeah I forgot I worshipped bug jesus"

    • 408
    • FAVS
    hugosauropodOblivionDreamBarnCrewNipplesHairySkeletorcultevasionIrish_Dinosauralm0stlopezKomodogD
    • 188
    • RETWEETS
    OblivionDreamfavstar_historyOwl_movementRowdySailboatradstuntsshoegazedSerpentineFleshHumanPog
    jolly_getterchuchugoogoooceanicfacebook__
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    I suffer from small butthole syndrome. Well I dont really suffer, it's just that my poop comes out like angel hair pasta. Anyway as valedict

    • 420
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamBarnCrewNipplescultevasionJosesLovesYouiantherageRowdySailboatdanchovya_stern_dad
    • 132
    • RETWEETS
    iantherageThe_Double_Jmmmaax_JakeezysunfilterSeamusThoughchickenscrap_radstunts
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    Sweet dreams are made of peas // Who am I to disagree // traveled the world to get some peas // what can i say i really like peas

    • 296
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamBarnCrewNipplesHairySkeletorJosesLovesYoupsiafPrinceGodBodyHumanPogIsaacWestergard
    • 155
    • RETWEETS
    OblivionDreamchambers_averycoyotebobelSajanessTheWildWiIdWestAlanGreenbackflyjashcremedelajoel
    JiminyKicksItweird_hugs________hell_doeslimepuke
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    Imagine a dude with big dangly balls standing on top of a tablesaw, slowly squatting down, never breaking eye contact. That man. Is America.

    • 296
    • FAVS
    stankpoundercultevasionTopLeftBrickElDavePhotostenoknightrufus_lipschitzdaleofBloodyBHoney
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    jamesbaileytvinfomorphdodecoherencestankpounderpookleblinkyHairySkeletorstreet_doggeePrinceGodBody
    GoodNaps
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    .@sega is fast food just regular food for sonic

    • 274
    • FAVS
    Burds_1Dah_ButlahBarnCrewNipplesHairySkeletorrudetanksexitingcorpsesolar_rexusJosesLovesYou
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    DaftPunkandLovesolar_rexusSerpentineFleshnotactuallyzachlegantrahPrinceGodBodyKingHerp70HumanPog
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    "This here is my man cave" - a bear showing you a cave filled with dead human bodies

    • 212
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamHairySkeletorcarlykennouseforanam3KirkTBoydHungryHundarJennIversonJosesLovesYou
    • 121
    • RETWEETS
    DouchebagCarlosDanielTaitHungryHundarJosesLovesYounotactuallyzachPrinceGodBodyWyanRilsonwayneappleby
    kakarookee________
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    Imagine cookie monster eating pussy

    • 201
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamBarnCrewNippleslofihentaiomitchhhhh_badmilkdaySkyfallkavunarwhalynnmichaeljhudson
    • 105
    • RETWEETS
    blancaggtheemmdubbHairySkeletorsolar_rexusczarlyzzieLolaSikesbranelefanOrthoTDStice
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    "I have dream. Where all these turtles will stop meddlin with my shit." - martin luther krang

    • 189
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamJosesLovesYouRowdySailboatPrinceGodBodyjolly_getterFloresIsabella7JRTudhopeFDthe4th
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    INDIEandaJONEZPhil_JansonTalbertrossBroIsMeeeee______tdwoodheadhrtbpsSirEviscerateyotsuba_ebooks
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    Gene Wilder?? Fuck that, get me GENe WILDEST

    • 204
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamteresadiablesaKatharosCumMALTSCHLITZMANNThatAwfulNickmilksweaterHairySkeletorJosesLovesYou
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    KatharosCumSerpentineFleshfictionalorangeskeletorsbonerCarlosissickweenerjanksjoshkburtondrewbeck
    bn2b
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    Here's a tip for avoiding "twitter drama": go to "twitter genres" in settings and switch it over to "comedy" or "horror" or "sports"

    • 176
    • FAVS
    winnersusedrugsHairySkeletorJosesLovesYouunbub_YungFanfictiontwerkduckRowdySailboatTheBodaBoat
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    RowdySailboatsunfilterclauuuuuudioPrinceGodBodyskeletonwarlocksimmysamsozzledropkickpikachuPhil_Janson
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    How tiny can we breed dogs? "Very tiny. Microscopic canines we inject in your bloodstream. Nanodogs. They are cute as hell & in your blood"

    • 146
    • FAVS
    MARY_MIDDLEmermills16HideAnGoGeekJonStorr1TheCiaraQuinlanEmandEmTalksMarielfmrmldejrmybrny
    • 98
    • RETWEETS
    noloveinsevillaclaireonwebErikaLovesLitCumbersomeWitthenoelorAmazingBTKAustinCHowetuvapetersen
  • Jonny_Wags
      SudokuMom69 @Jonny_Wags

    How are you makin you're nose wiggle like that. Jesus this is crazy. *sunglasses fall off of dog's butt* oh, haha, jokes on me

    • 168
    • FAVS
    OblivionDreamDah_ButlahblearyboyBarnCrewNipplesHairySkeletorJosesLovesYoucarli_piYungFanfiction
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    lemonayneRowdySailboatVILLHAVERPriscilla_YEAHtcoal66JillianLauren_____DizTheBearHenryTrap
    jonnysun
@Jonny_Wags

@Jonny_Wags

Unsanitary butt-wiper http://favstar.fm/users/Jonny_Wags