@eliota_sapolu you and your Samoan wanker side are thugs. You should be thankful Bakkies never played. Things wouldnt have gone down well

The 1st rule of the HIV club is to be positive.

Would just like to thank @robforbesdj for making this the most awkward ride home with my Gran. #OrgasmMuch

@eliota_sapolu and well done on you ban. It just shows the class of you and your country

What do you get when you have 32 people in the same room from Benoni? A full set of teeth

I really want to believe #OscarPistorious story but there are so many holes in his story. I fear Gerrie Nel is going to have a field day

#YoureProbablyNotSouthAfrican if you haven't received a death threat from one of @steve_hofmeyr 's fans after you have abused him on twitter

So going up to a female colleague dressed normally and saying: I didn't know we could dress up, was not my best idea .#Halloween #JonoTips

Knowing @adaampie and @cuntrunt makes me a cunt by association

@eliota_sapolu just have one last question. Now that you don't have a job anymore, are u going to move back in with your folks? Hahaha

I have my first gray pube. Does that mean my knob is stressed?

Some ppl have been claiming that I'm too full of myself and an egocentric. So I discussed this with 1 of my disciples, and he just laughed.

Nothing like a 3:30 round table settlement meeting on a friday afternoon to piss all over you weekend battery

People are giving shit about calling #Oscar an angry Flid. I know a flid is a disabled person but hey... If the shoe fits

I still play 8bit TV games #ManchildProblems

@custardcheeks they also generally drive those Crispy Bakkies aka a Datsan or a Chev bakkie. #TurboDutch

Absolute courageous cricket from both SA and Aus. I take may hat off to @faf1307 and Pieter Siddle. U can't buy BMT. #SSCricket

That awkward moment when some1 tells me they are going to lay a complaint against me to the Disciplinary Committee&realises that I am the DC

@robforbesdj @ludweh just know that pedestrians are worth 10 points each and cyclists 50. #JonoTips

Do u hav a friend on bbm who broadcasts too much...contact the broadcasting complaints commission on 012-delete-him/her