Bernard Pollard also introduced Len Bias to cocaine.

I hate abortions almost as much as I hate condoms.

Republicans hate gay people? Whats next... hating dogs?

Happy Mother's Day to a special lady who is blocked from reading this on both Facebook and Twitter!

BREAKING NEWS: Female blogger enjoys live comedy show.

Sadly, we were only a few short days without a shooting away from being able to discuss gun control.

White hat guy is on the run. They should make him run 26.2 miles then blow his legs off.

Every time someone doesn't understand a WWII reference, I blame the History Channel for airing footage of modern people chopping wood.

Trying to keep it together on bus from Boston to NYC. Still unclear on details. Am safe though.

2012 has been my favorite year. 2013 will be my retweet year.

The best thing about fucking a fat chick is when you are in love with her. Because making love is infinitely more gratifying than fucking.

In her ongoing struggle to prove she is a woman, Jamie Lee Curtis complained about Seth Macfarlane.

"Out of bounds" - everyone with no proof that the 9 year old girl isn't a cunt.

"Stay at home and don't go to work." I've been obeying police orders for almost a year now.

I cant decide if the horrendous spelling errors makes this sex-chat spammer more or less credible.

A comedian doing a rant about the subway is about as entertaining as hearing a rant ON the subway.

'Girls Gone Wild' filed for bankruptcy after Lena Dunham made boobs uncool.

I don't use snapchat. My dick is timeless.

I would foursquare check in at this emergency room, but this guy with one leg is clearly the mayor.

The Chargers just officially made their pitch for this year's Hard Knocks.