Armed Forces Network plays commercials telling military how to seek help if suicidal. American television stations should do the same #Freel

Is it fair to say shoulder rubs are more of a gateway drug than weed? I'd bet shoulder rubs lead to sex more often than weed leads to coke.

@blondrbomber can i cover them with my own sauce?

@toddposhera You know a topic has officially been beaten to death when The Todd tweets about it!

@orangecheetos @thatgirlallie So do you ever look at a picture of the Last Supper and think it's 13 guys and one cup?

While Noah built his ark, the people around him tweeted about the rain. #TSDebby

I'm cool w Joel Peralta of the #Rays doing the cheating thing. That's old school. At least he didn't put snot on the ball. #MajorLeague

Reflections on my first 3 months in #Afghanistan: http://t.co/HA9Eb5b1

The Mets swept the Rays. I really don't know how to feel about that. Confused? It's like an old lover visited and punched my new girlfriend.

So the President believes gay people can get married. But as a Muslim, does he believe lesbians can get divorced?

@blondrbomber like you need help going for 300 in one night.

At kareoke w @filthynerdy . I wonder if they have "4:33". I think I'd nail that song.

@docpanama definitely. When all you have to do is follow to learn what something thinks, its awesome. Even better when you engage.

Hooters girls and crazy customers: http://bit.ly/13zhz8
#hooters

@gangrey everyone knows cockroaches, Cher albums, and early 90s topps baseball sets will be the only things that survive the apocalypse

@missdestructo those kind of meetings remind me of dinner at my parents' house.

@jquasto i watched it in-flight as well. after a year overseas, it effectively prepared me for seeing my mother again.

@alliekranick thank you! next week is my first Rays game since 2011. I'm excited!

The adventure is over. Home in the USA and already had a beer on the beach. Priorities. #Afghanistan

My relationship with the gym has more break-ups and get-back-togethers than a Taylor Swift album.