I'm trying to be more positive. So, I guess the bright side to Rakim opening for Kreayshawn is that one day we'll all be dead.

Here's a story about my addictions and what I did to make them disappear. I'd be honored if you RT'd this, really:  http://www.joefarley.com/post/50394583092/my-pull-toward …

Just got laughed out of a Satanic orgy because I showed up dressed like a 3rd grader in a Halloween Devil outfit :-(

"He doesn't look anything like America." - my nephew watching Captain America

@hellocullen keep it up, sad man.

Pick up line: Did you just fall from Heaven? Because I don't believe in you.

@putrid_organism Does the word "friend" mean "scumbag" in your world?

Photo: Scarface and members of De La Soul. Maybe nothing makes me happier than the co-mingling of legendary...  http://tmblr.co/Zmz-XyhbePpB 

Where should I get my Monster Energy logo tattoo at? My neck, or my unemployment checks?

I just read the Dorner Manifesto and, no joke, in the midst of justifying a murderous rampage, he compliments Michelle Obama's bangs.

A guy I used to buy coke from now works the drive-thru at McDonald's. I'm the one who feels shame every time I go there.

Mitt Romney looks like he fucks his wife through the dickhole of his boxers.

"I really don't like adults. At all, practically." -- Maurice Sendak

Thanks for following me because you think/hope I'll follow you back and then unfollowing me when I don't. I'm sure I'll regret it.

Sleeping over with the last girI I was having sex with, she offered me her toothbrush. I said that was "gross". Then I ate her ass out.

There's a time and a place for a neck tattoo. The timing is poor, and the place is the unemployment office.

@shittingtonuk @apey @prodigalsam His justification of it borders on sociopathy.

@mattstaggs You get a lot of eyes on your links. Any chance you can RT my story of addiction & recovery:  http://www.joefarley.com/post/50394583092/my-pull-toward …

I've encountered homeless guys whose confidence I wish I had.

In the unfolding of today's events, I was spurned to finally write about my long-time disapproval for @realalexjones:  http://www.joefarley.com/post/48107979060/alex-jones …