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Ke$ha is a girl you can bring home to mom.
If your mom is into sharing needles and Hepatitis C.
Why is everything I love the most so wrong for me?
Big Girls Don't Cry because they will eat you if you piss them off
30% of women are killed by their boyfriends or husbands
30% of women should have shut the fuck up
Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer
I don't get chosen to win raffles at work but I sure get chosen for random drug tests
Guys! I'm almost to 200 followers. Help me out, I'll send out nudes of Betty White and Bea Arthur scissoring... #hollaifyouhearme
Don't you hate when you think your wife is waking you up with a blowjob and it's your fucking dog?
Billy Joel may have not started the fire but he did crash his car into a house while fucking shitfaced...
The first time my neighbors saw my truck they probably thought a Mexican just moved into the neighborhood
Jamming Pink Floyd at work just earned me a spot in the next random drug test.
I didn't know Ron Jeremy coached the Orlando Magic
I have a feeling this is going to end with a murder/suicide
Growin up in the gutter
Pharmer! BDS! Jimmy Neutron! Cadillac! White Trash Heartthrob! Raider! Hard White! @aliciakaysmc Sugar Daddy! American Beast! DJ Quiet Bastard! Juicy Jay!