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  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Gift @JournalismJunk Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 2,868
    • LIKES
    FuryBallHockeythaitea10Zombie_Kitv2Jack0SpadesAntonioAngelo21BaconNinja16rick_griffithHEPennypacker84
    • 1,502
    • RETWEETS
    FuryBallHockeyZoaricXuchilbara89__AntonioAngelo21Busfan1PorterQuesWVUStick_Man_SaysAnthonyAbides
    Henry_3kFudgeRobotAllTheUglyTruthArrowsOfTheSun101RaceyHelmdawgEgristle_kissesrevenge_tanukisShrinkMediaXalqeeJorDAMN_CelebrityChezDonnie_FairburnarmyVet1972MarcusOreally__BillArrundalebitchkrieg________ThisAlexStein10InchesPlusDong_Hangereric10FVodkaShorebirdmewritesgoodHrBrynicfit75rossbransonu_jellicent__iLightbulb________jgantleyMatadorMadiLectorCaveo______CleverDudashleycremdugornotweinerdog4lifeWeirdHerald
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Twitter: If she looks thin, she's fat; If she looks fat, she's funny; If she looks hot, she's a dude; If he's a dude, he's unemployed.

    • 1,470
    • LIKES
    NawtyMynxGooberforceJimmySelfDestSpaced_Cowboy00Jay1972JayKentWGrahamDannilynnA__daniel_frijoles__
    • 863
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    NawtyMynxkspinks4485JimmySelfDestMobCalEsquireSpaced_Cowboy00Jay1972Jaydaniel_frijoles__Bahstonlady
    VodkaShorebirdLockherupRNcirclejokesThe_MentalysttheanonymusoneBearslietoo______TheMongoose69__cupcakelyndarevenge_tanukisKingPatrick24
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Listen, bro, Karma Chameleon is gonna be turned up pretty loud, so you're gonna need to shout your safe word.

    • 1,526
    • LIKES
    FuckedUpSunsetlilooetBahstonladyChickenFrecklezBbreadladyKatarinaFoMarkAFuqua_Huntdarrrkstarrr
    • 799
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    lilooetihatedcatfoodBahstonladyBbreadladyMarkAFuqua_HuntdarrrkstarrrUncleKermitMindofLogan847
    michaelpathHollyMemphisDong_HangerKalvinMacleodTitansHomermllebeckyroseNinjaFuneral______ChazballparkarmyVet1972sususudafed__VodkaShorebirdMyRedHairIsRealAdamUrbane________reddishunicornDana_Brunoveinarmor__chrisviccaro
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My signature move is rolling down the window and reminding my wife to get me a Kit Kat after she's done pumping the gas.

    • 1,303
    • LIKES
    HRTSMRTNawtyMynxJimmySelfDestZombie_TwilightKentWGrahamBahstonladyChickenFrecklezSDPlissken1
    • 692
    • RETWEETS
    NawtyMynxJimmySelfDestNinjaSweatpantsBahstonladyfavstar_historyUncleBob56youcantbeMissTDaleInc
    TheWadestCM2BTTHDDong_HangerCleverDudaneesa_pChiefTwittlerdaemonic3sunexplodeCelebrityChezDre_77___________EvilPandaX
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Um. Hello? It’s morning. You can leave now... Mom’s not making breakfast for three..

    • 1,301
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    Zombie_TwilightBahstonladyChickenFrecklezTheSuperParentsMadamBetteNoirefunnybeachgirlMarkAFuqua_HuntTheWadest
    • 656
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    OverRitzBahstonladyUncleBob56CandiZNMarkAFuqua_Hunt240bortythetoddviAmDelFreaky
    nostaljarChazballparkJosesLovesYouGirlwithAIDSWonderMonkey78TimJohnishmichaeljdawsonsquashguy15Minden6
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Chillin' outside KMart with a soft pretzel and slushie. Bitches be eyin' my shit...

    • 1,224
    • LIKES
    NawtyMynxJimmySelfDestBahstonladyChickenFrecklezBridgetMamacitaiMikosnycHabbibtiA_gligs
    • 570
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    NawtyMynxkspinks4485JimmySelfDestHabbibtigrigsby_larryKylo_Tha_KidTmoney68UncleBob56
    BlACk__ThRoaTmilehighocd__cpabryBearslietoo______krazy313hunter__VodkaShorebirdomarcheeriojeffreyvanclea1ShaunRightNow
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    If I'm wearing Jordache jeans, you know I'm on fuck patrol.

    • 1,234
    • LIKES
    Bmanning2042eucemoose_gritsBooeyBombCountGripsnatchhoedeehoelilooetErinEph
    • 502
    • RETWEETS
    moose_gritsBooeyBombMcNarstleNawtyMynxCwAy_bc__kspinks4485JimmySelfDestUncleKermit
    bourbonmelikeyBob_HellerDong_HangerSternoShotslawyerthoughtsRomoForTheWin____VodkaShorebirdShaunRightNowDurtMcHurtt
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Watching the toilet water reach the rim but get sucked back down before overflowing is probably a lot like skydiving or going outside.

    • 1,160
    • LIKES
    NawtyMynxchappymanJimmySelfDestBahstonladyChickenFrecklezthrill713BridgetMamacitacollapsing_star
    • 568
    • RETWEETS
    ArinLeeMorrisNawtyMynxchappymanJimmySelfDestthrill713HabbibtiMrCahalanUncleBob56
    HeyJennyConwaySonnyPisanotylerisajokejoeljeffreyAnonymousTrophy__ThisAlexSteinmewritesgoodToiletMike
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My signature move is saying, "I'm so ashamed of myself" with a mouthful of food.

    • 945
    • LIKES
    JimmySelfDestUncleKermitBahstonladysarahplegicChickenFrecklezTheSuperParentsRyzing07Deerjerkyum
    • 518
    • RETWEETS
    kspinks4485JimmySelfDestUncleKermitsarahplegicChickenFrecklezUncleBob56MarkAFuqua_HuntNotPeterStark__
    McNarstleNervousJr__ThisAlexSteinCpt_Burnout
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    When I'm not rejecting some prime pussy, I'm flashing my debit card around the dollar store.

    • 1,033
    • LIKES
    Bob_JankeFrustrateMyLove__TheeHeatherPrayRobHughesComedyUncleKermitcactibeachsmaccersBahstonlady
    • 426
    • RETWEETS
    FrustrateMyLove__richbird4__UncleKermitsmaccersNotPeterStark__No_tact_hereSickayduhquietlybiased
    VodkaShorebirdJimmySelfDestgoodersuk74______bitchkrieg________Debaucherony__iLightbulb________CYComedyShaunRightNowTitansHomerToiletMike
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I can only assume that each time Maroon 5 and Matchbox 20 members pass eachother in a hotel lobby, they all crouch and start snapping.

    • 947
    • LIKES
    JimmySelfDestUncleKermitBahstonladyMarkAFuqua_HuntTheWadestEric_NikiforovtanialunrealROTTYpc
    • 463
    • RETWEETS
    CwAy_bc__JimmySelfDestUncleKermityoucantbeMissTMarkAFuqua_HuntROTTYpcjojomon43SpinnersNSaints
    kentgrossarthclemwin__________nonosimprovBuzzRolledmeaganbb1________kyle_thatisallahoytheboat______mabuis______________
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I've got 99 problems and most of them centered around portion control and lack of exercise.

    • 884
    • LIKES
    deathtoscumbagsNawtyMynxKause187JimmySelfDestBahstonladyMsSScandal__lynnmbessingerMarkAFuqua_Hunt
    • 493
    • RETWEETS
    NawtyMynxVeetjie1JimmySelfDestOverRitzMsSScandal__MarkAFuqua_HuntNotPeterStark__No_tact_here
    Not_From_TroySparkCityComedyDBMaxP
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I remember when Instagram used to be the nickname for a reliable coke dealer.

    • 875
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    FudgeRobotChloestylodavekunz8787Jez1androszrMichiganManuelJimmySelfDestzorgod
    • 416
    • RETWEETS
    Jez1angelizajMondayPajamasMichiganManuelJimmySelfDestliquidlimeyouareawrongunBobbyNeil79
    ToneLoOnTheGoSCOOPISMSYesitsAl
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Hate to do this, need a transplant and pretty important I get one soon. Putting this out there if you want to donate:  http://patients.transplants.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=485635&lis=1&supId=375313393&patientPID=16123 

    • 527
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    NotPeterStark__quietlybiasedrawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcG__minafisheyespeeznuts__TheKenyan_yup_its_me_m__
    • 757
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    BlackCuntFaceramasindgenicarbyMCaparco__PAT_E_ROCKmcvey_tracyAphroditefter5__HappyHijabbi
    doublewenis______THEINBREDCAT______TheRealAnchovyCpin42MustBeBobby______bobbyblossomsCYComedyFamousMikeMinden6armyVet1972DurtMcHurttjunejuly12ToiletMikeTitansHomerim_not_smug______
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Public pools: The Walmart that doesn't make you wear a shirt.

    • 866
    • LIKES
    jaymunneeCheeseboy22GeauxSaints79bananagrvyrdNerdyNerakindifference84DrBlazarphilipajane
    • 401
    • RETWEETS
    MorningStarPwrGeauxSaints79indifference84ihave0posturemeganhildrethheXCheezLousyBastardSuperTeeWhy
    ThisAlexSteincuntsiclesTitansHomer
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Found my wife's big Black back massager under our bed... He said he was fixing the box spring.

    • 747
    • LIKES
    Jez1MondayPajamasMichiganManuelchappymanVeetjie1JimmySelfDestBahstonladyNotPeterStark__
    • 297
    • RETWEETS
    MondayPajamasMichiganManuelJimmySelfDestNotPeterStark__No_tact_hereBeeBoggleSickayduhboab15
    Tuna_Lover
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My safe word is "This feels kinda gay"

    • 658
    • LIKES
    ArinLeeMorrisJohnnymo19BELLOaverageIlovelamp1979Love2read247TheGoatTacoOhneMichFreundestevenslady
    • 335
    • RETWEETS
    BELLOaveragestevensladysiennajadezcorinnemlwswTyrrellJtHeyJennyConwayem_kat44MondayPajamas
    KizerBillhelm
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My friends, Ive accepted a liver offer and am headed for prep. I just want to send a thank you to all who donated, sent well-wishes and

    • 703
    • LIKES
    ArinLeeMorrisLerbsyCherbs__NotPeterStark__No_tact_herepdxjohnny99d2BMcG__minafisheyesScrambledMceggs__
    • 248
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    favstar_historyVodkaShorebirdNotPeterStark__pdxjohnny99d2BMcG__ScrambledMceggs__bearded_gandhi__PAT_E_ROCK
    TitansHomernonsensetwit______Sparksy_NurseMurdererRomoForTheWin____Bearslietoo______ToiletMikemichaelpathSternoShotsBoltneck55________
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    "Is THIS your card!" - Hallmark sales clerk every time David Blaine comes in.

    • 662
    • LIKES
    auggie_dicesterIlovelamp1979itszizuHeyJennyConwayJez1ChristieLueMondayPajamasOverRitz
    • 252
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    HeyJennyConwayMondayPajamasWolv_RNNotPeterStark__dogwillhunt22UnIxphyscoNo_tact_hereRobbySpankme
    DaddyWithIssuesJimmywibbles______Brianhopecomedy
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I like to pick up male hitchhikers and, after a brief exchange of pleasantries, fall silent & play WHAM!'s "Careless Whisper" on a loop.

    • 625
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    NawtyMynxRiver_NilesJimmySelfDestSondraDeeMejuneohara65BoxingChuckImAFavstarCunt__IrishVin
    • 273
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    cinderella_megevankaevankaNawtyMynxRiver_NilesJimmySelfDestjuneohara65BoxingChuckIrishVin
    Sparksy_im_not_smug______SunnyNeutrino
@JournalismJunk

@JournalismJunk

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