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  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I jerked off to Poison for almost a year before I found out they were dudes. And then for like another 3 months.

    • 2,779
    • FAVS
    TheWadestZombieGirlFunthejodiestHelenLydiaMchiweethedogNinja_Soup_andyfwhiteAxenbane
    • 1,456
    • RETWEETS
    BigSixxRavensessiongzRockKrallerBonoBordeauxClip_Show_TimeSmiley_Virussspattioshankablelovephoebecates
    Henry_3kFudgeRobotAllTheUglyTruthArrowsOfTheSun101RaceyHelmdawgEgristle_kissesrevenge_tanukisShrinkMediaXalqeeJorDAMN_CelebrityChezDonnie_FairburnarmyVet1972MarcusOreally__BillArrundalebitchkrieg________ThisAlexStein10InchesPlusDong_Hangereric10FVodkaShorebirdmewritesgoodHrBrynicfit75rossbransonu_jellicentiLightbulb________jgantleyb00bjizzLectorCaveo______seanx3ashleycremdugornotweinerdog4life__WeirdHerald
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Listen, bro, Karma Chameleon is gonna be turned up pretty loud, so you're gonna need to shout your safe word.

    • 1,522
    • FAVS
    BbreadladyKatarinaFoMarkAFuqua_HuntdarrrkstarrrFaircyMagicSenseiTanaka1TheRappingTrollSDPlissken1
    • 796
    • RETWEETS
    BbreadladyMarkAFuqua_HuntdarrrkstarrrUncleKermitMindofLogan847basedcoachkush_Everett_75_Anonymous1040
    michaelpathHollyMemphisDong_HangerKalvinMacleodTitansHomermllebeckyroseNinjaFuneral______ChazballparkarmyVet1972sususudafedVodkaShorebirdMyRedHairIsRealAdamUrbane________reddishunicornDana_Brunoveinarmorchrisviccaro
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Twitter: If she looks thin, she's fat; If she looks fat, she's funny; If she looks hot, she's a dude; If he's a dude, he's unemployed.

    • 1,460
    • FAVS
    MarkAFuqua_HuntLutherGKnightmukeshathulpii_ke_Alyssa_JoliekarlainvtNotPeterStarkCedsDead
    • 855
    • RETWEETS
    LutherGKnightmukeshathulpii_kekarlainvtNotPeterStarkCedsDeadKobeismNo_tact_here
    LockherupRNcirclejokesThe_MentalysttheanonymusoneBearslietoo______TheMongoose69cupcakelyndarevenge_tanukisKingPatrick24
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My signature move is rolling down the window and reminding my wife to get me a Kit Kat after she's done pumping the gas.

    • 1,295
    • FAVS
    MadamBetteNoireUncleBob56kwinrodriguezDaleIncKeeleyDenisarMarkAFuqua_HuntD_NoiserTrippyRussia
    • 687
    • RETWEETS
    UncleBob56youcantbeMissTDaleIncKeeleyDenisarMarkAFuqua_HuntTheWadestMungilAinmega_byte
    TheWadestCM2BTTHDDong_Hangerseanx3aneesa_pChiefTwittlerdaemonic3sunexplodeCelebrityChezDre_77___________EvilPandaX
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Um. Hello? It’s morning. You can leave now... Mom’s not making breakfast for three..

    • 1,298
    • FAVS
    TheSuperParentsMadamBetteNoirefunnybeachgirlMarkAFuqua_HuntTheWadestZedKamuzuFueledByGuacHannibal_Bagga
    • 654
    • RETWEETS
    UncleBob56CandiZNMarkAFuqua_Hunt240bortythetoddviAmDelFreakyrellahhakeberiamrachelkulin
    RockendenChazballparkJosesLovesYouGirlwithAIDSWonderMonkey78UrbanDouchebagmichaeljdawsonsquashguy15Minden6
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Chillin' outside KMart with a soft pretzel and slushie. Bitches be eyin' my shit...

    • 1,219
    • FAVS
    iMikosnycHabbibtiA_gligsDawn_M_Sh4n3rsgrigsby_larryrevengeofAAHugoStigletzIV
    • 567
    • RETWEETS
    Habbibtigrigsby_larryKylo_Stylo_9537Tmoney68UncleBob56NotPeterStarkNo_tact_heremanuelmoeg
    BlACk__ThRoaTmilehighocdcpabryBearslietoo______krazy313hunter__VodkaShorebirdJiminyKicksItjeffreyvanclea1ShaunRightNow
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Watching the toilet water reach the rim but get sucked back down before overflowing is probably a lot like skydiving or going outside.

    • 1,153
    • FAVS
    collapsing_starHabbibtithomasakaobamazolboo88MistressOfOzrmecheeyastasiakeitaPinUpMom
    • 563
    • RETWEETS
    HabbibtiMrCahalanUncleBob56DJnVerve_BekahMarkAFuqua_HuntTheWadestNotPeterStarkRoute33inc
    HeyJennyLeoneSonnyPisanotylerisajokejoeljeffreyAnonymousTrophy__ThisAlexSteinmewritesgoodMikeCanRant
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    If I'm wearing Jordache jeans, you know I'm on fuck patrol.

    • 1,220
    • FAVS
    TheWadestScoobdooblesDoneEffedUpLeprechaunGangNotPeterStarkTheGrimKingheidicshazelmotes1
    • 494
    • RETWEETS
    ScoobdooblesVicFuturechiweethedogNotPeterStarkNo_tact_hereheidicsZora_d_1991HeyKatelon
    bourbonmelikeyBob_HellerDong_HangerSternoShotslawyerthoughtsRomoForTheWin____VodkaShorebirdShaunRightNowDurtMcHurtt
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My signature move is saying, "I'm so ashamed of myself" with a mouthful of food.

    • 940
    • FAVS
    TheSuperParentsRyzing07DeerjerkyumUncleBob56MarkAFuqua_HuntTheWadestNotPeterStarkTheGrimKing
    • 513
    • RETWEETS
    UncleBob56MarkAFuqua_HuntNotPeterStarkNo_tact_hereemortleSickayduhquietlybiasedfavstar_history
    McNarstleNervousJrThisAlexSteinCpt_Burnout
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    When I'm not rejecting some prime pussy, I'm flashing my debit card around the dollar store.

    • 1,025
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStarkCedsDeadTheGrimKingNo_tact_herePablizzleWizzleSweetInCLEtalabicrazyjet379
    • 422
    • RETWEETS
    NotPeterStarkNo_tact_hereSickayduhquietlybiasedFarOutReviewrawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcG__pete46and2
    VodkaShorebirdJimmySelfDestgoodersuk74______bitchkrieg________Debaucherony__iLightbulb________CYComedyShaunRightNowTitansHomerMikeCanRant
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I can only assume that each time Maroon 5 and Matchbox 20 members pass eachother in a hotel lobby, they all crouch and start snapping.

    • 944
    • FAVS
    MarkAFuqua_HuntTheWadestEric_NikiforovtanialunrealROTTYpcwildblondebombHelenLydiaMIvy18West
    • 460
    • RETWEETS
    youcantbeMissTMarkAFuqua_HuntROTTYpcjojomon43SpinnersNSaintsEliiiiTatCRCDLDTHSPDAllTheUglyTruth
    kentgrossarthclemwin__________nonosimprovBuzzRolledmeaganbb1________kyle_thatisallahoytheboat______mabuis______________
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I've got 99 problems and most of them centered around portion control and lack of exercise.

    • 879
    • FAVS
    MsSScandallynnmbessingerMarkAFuqua_HuntNotPeterStarkTheGrimKingNo_tact_herequietlybiasedundonestar
    • 489
    • RETWEETS
    MsSScandalMarkAFuqua_HuntNotPeterStarkNo_tact_hereMark_W_Taylorjaq_burkepdxjohnny99MaitiuSexton
    Not_From_TroySparkCityComedyDBMaxP
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Hate to do this, need a transplant and pretty important I get one soon. Putting this out there if you want to donate:  http://patients.transplants.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=485635&lis=1&supId=375313393&patientPID=16123 

    • 527
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStarkquietlybiasedrawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcG__Sweet_SueZpeeznutsTheKenyan_yup_its_me_m
    • 757
    • RETWEETS
    BlackCuntFaceramasindgenicarbyMCaparco__PAT_E_ROCKmcvey_tracyAphroditeAfter5HappyHijabbi
    doublewenis______THEINBREDCAT______TheRealAnchovyCpin42MustBeBobby______bobbyblossomsCYComedyFamousMikeMinden6armyVet1972DurtMcHurttjunejuly12MikeCanRantTitansHomerim_not_smug______
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I remember when Instagram used to be the nickname for a reliable coke dealer.

    • 865
    • FAVS
    DeerjerkyumtgspecialUncleBob56NotPeterStarkTheGrimKingNo_tact_hereRickyScampquietlybiased
    • 406
    • RETWEETS
    UncleBob56NotPeterStarkNo_tact_hereMark_W_Taylorpdxjohnny99ScarsFourEyeskentgrossarthd2BMcG__
    ToneLoOnTheGoSCOOPISMSYesitsAl
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Public pools: The Walmart that doesn't make you wear a shirt.

    • 832
    • FAVS
    LerbsyCherbsNotPeterStarkCVTBabyTheGrimKingNo_tact_hereBeeBoggleuvanianaidoo_SetTheHook_
    • 381
    • RETWEETS
    NotPeterStarkNo_tact_hereuvanianaidoo_SetTheHook_SickayduhRobbySpankmepdxjohnny99TheWadest
    ThisAlexSteincuntsiclesTitansHomer
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Found my wife's big Black back massager under our bed... He said he was fixing the box spring.

    • 740
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStarkCVTBabyTheGrimKingNo_tact_hereglassforbatsflywestBeeBogglePablizzleWizzle
    • 294
    • RETWEETS
    NotPeterStarkNo_tact_hereBeeBoggleSickayduhboab15AllIstErbAntErquietlybiasedBangMyBongo
    Tuna_Lover
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My safe word is "This feels kinda gay"

    • 630
    • FAVS
    LMills_fairy__unicornBlindVigilJessObsessMethShartraydevitoBeamishBoiCpez38
    • 322
    • RETWEETS
    BlindVigilVicFutureMethShartozzie31220BrytanHWDinarteJTppManlllvvvzzz
    KizerBillhelm
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My friends, Ive accepted a liver offer and am headed for prep. I just want to send a thank you to all who donated, sent well-wishes and

    • 702
    • FAVS
    LerbsyCherbsNotPeterStarkNo_tact_herepdxjohnny99d2BMcG__Sweet_SueZScrambledMceggsgrizzlied
    • 246
    • RETWEETS
    NotPeterStarkpdxjohnny99d2BMcG__ScrambledMceggsgrizzliedPAT_E_ROCKRobertAndEdnaPaperWash
    TitansHomernonsensetwit______Sparksy_NurseMurdererRomoForTheWin____Bearslietoo______MikeCanRantmichaelpathSternoShotsBoltneck55________
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    "Is THIS your card!" - Hallmark sales clerk every time David Blaine comes in.

    • 654
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStarkdogwillhunt22un1xphyscoNo_tact_herequietlybiasedUnseenTouchpdxjohnny99LorieGZ
    • 250
    • RETWEETS
    Wolv_RNNotPeterStarkdogwillhunt22un1xphyscoNo_tact_hereRobbySpankmepdxjohnny99d2BMcG__
    DaddyWithIssuesJimmywibbles______Brianhopecomedy
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I like to pick up male hitchhikers and, after a brief exchange of pleasantries, fall silent & play WHAM!'s "Careless Whisper" on a loop.

    • 622
    • FAVS
    SondraDeeMejuneohara65BoxingChuckImAFavstarCuntIrishVinaap71GaspingJoggersDFranklinkfdx
    • 268
    • RETWEETS
    juneohara65BoxingChuckIrishVinSpanishFlightNotPeterStarkRobbySpankmepdxjohnny99d2BMcG__
    Sparksy_im_not_smug______SunnyNeutrino
@JournalismJunk

@JournalismJunk

This Train. TeamBackFat