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  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I jerked off to Poison for almost a year before I found out they were dudes. And then for like another 3 months.

    • 2,746
    • FAVS
    bamesbmwSoulCaddieNoveltyNewzzzNotClayMerrittColt_SeethersOneFunnyDaddyTheR1tualsoapjackal
    • 1,438
    • RETWEETS
    corpshamanwhorealester2102xxNoApologeezxxNoveltyNewzzzColt_SeethersHeyJennyLeoneDDsaywhatlelz__
    Henry_3kFudgeRobotAllTheUglyTruthArrowsOfTheSun101RaceyHelmdawgEgristle_kissesrevenge_tanukisShrinkMediaXalqeeJorDAMN_CelebrityChezDonnie_FairburnarmyVet1972MarcusOreally__BillArrundalebitchkrieg________ThisAlexStein10InchesPlusDong_Hangereric10FVodkaShorebirdmewritesgoodHrBrynicfit75rossbransonu_jellicentiLightbulb________jgantleyb00bjizzLectorCaveo______seanx3ashleycremdugornotweinerdog4lifeWeirdHerald
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Twitter: If she looks thin, she's fat; If she looks fat, she's funny; If she looks hot, she's a dude; If he's a dude, he's unemployed.

    • 1,443
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedPStu24manuelmoegedhamadtoMobergMrmstluvstrinketsWhoopdeedoo22Str8GuyGayQuote
    • 843
    • RETWEETS
    MobergMrmstluvstrinketsClassichumourGfish_vs_worldglitterpanda123favstar_historyd2BMcG__pete46and2
    LockherupRNcirclejokesThe_MentalysttheanonymusoneBearslietoo______TheMongoose69cupcakelyndarevenge_tanukisKingPatrick24
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Listen, bro, Karma Chameleon is gonna be turned up pretty loud, so you're gonna need to shout your safe word.

    • 1,484
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedmanuelmoegDownFrontArtistMobergMrmstluvstrinketsWhoopdeedoo22Sparksy_GeneErect
    • 778
    • RETWEETS
    hazelmotes1MobergMrTheMurderMacmstluvstrinketsBroke_GurlSparksy_loriacapobiancoMichaelNormanto
    michaelpathHollyMemphisDong_HangerKalvinMacleodTitansHomermllebeckyroseNinjaFuneral______ChazballparkarmyVet1972sususudafedVodkaShorebirdMyRedHairIsRealAdamUrbane________reddishunicornDana_Brunoveinarmorchrisviccaro
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My signature move is rolling down the window and reminding my wife to get me a Kit Kat after she's done pumping the gas.

    • 1,248
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedHeyJennyLeonemanuelmoegBeastnBitchhazelmotes1ErikaDeBuskTheRealKirkRhaolegurl808
    • 664
    • RETWEETS
    Ayyy_itsmehazelmotes1SteHarperStaceyRuschXOSchitzoMobergMrmstluvstrinketsBroke_Gurl
    CM2BTTHDDong_Hangerseanx3aneesa_pChiefTwittlerdaemonic3sunexplodeCelebrityChezDre_77___________EvilPandaX
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Um. Hello? It’s morning. You can leave now... Mom’s not making breakfast for three..

    • 1,269
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedHeyJennyLeoneSteHarperBrandieNichole3MobergMrmstluvstrinketsWhoopdeedoo22Broke_Gurl
    • 634
    • RETWEETS
    SteHarperMobergMrmstluvstrinketsGeneErectejmichaels1d2BMcG__Flo_to_the_OSnarfernini
    RockendenChazballparkJosesLovesYouGirlwithAIDSWonderMonkey78UrbanDouchebagmichaeljdawsonsquashguy15Minden6
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Chillin' outside KMart with a soft pretzel and slushie. Bitches be eyin' my shit...

    • 1,204
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedBeastnBitchnate_julius13MobergMrmstluvstrinketsBroke_Gurlmagnetizm69GeneErect
    • 560
    • RETWEETS
    manuelmoegBeastnBitchhazelmotes1mstluvstrinketsRowdyMcFlowdySaveItForFestSickayduhrawwwwwwwwwwrrr
    BlACk__ThRoaTmilehighocdcpabryBearslietoo______krazy313hunter__VodkaShorebirdJiminyKicksItjeffreyvanclea1ShaunRightNow
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    If I'm wearing Jordache jeans, you know I'm on fuck patrol.

    • 1,214
    • FAVS
    heidicshazelmotes1williamwantonPYWLCooke_AAshleighSloanejsquared427HeyKatelon
    • 489
    • RETWEETS
    heidicsZora_d_1991HeyKatelonQwertyJones3SonOfChad2BMcG__kathybotteasAndie_LV
    bourbonmelikeyBob_HellerDong_HangerSternoShotslawyerthoughtsRomoForTheWin____VodkaShorebirdShaunRightNowDurtMcHurtt
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Watching the toilet water reach the rim but get sucked back down before overflowing is probably a lot like skydiving or going outside.

    • 1,129
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedSickayduhnicked_richesBurrellJacobGinGanderInkedUpKidderBobTwitskicrotchfruits
    • 549
    • RETWEETS
    SickayduhGinGanderash__pHeyJennyLeoned2BMcG___runningshort2caveman_mmonume_
    HeyJennyLeoneSonnyPisanotylerisajokejoeljeffreyAnonymousTrophy__ThisAlexSteinmewritesgoodMikeCanRant
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My signature move is saying, "I'm so ashamed of myself" with a mouthful of food.

    • 929
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedHeyJennyLeoneGeneErecttravisaurussrawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZejmichaels1d2BMcG__
    • 507
    • RETWEETS
    quietlybiasedfavstar_historyejmichaels1d2BMcG__lzellmer74AmishPornStar1Sweet_SueZMondayPajamas
    McNarstleNervousJrThisAlexSteinCpt_Burnout
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    When I'm not rejecting some prime pussy, I'm flashing my debit card around the dollar store.

    • 1,016
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedHeyJennyLeoneGeneErectrawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcG__pete46and2AmishPornStar1Sweet_SueZ
    • 419
    • RETWEETS
    quietlybiasedFarOutReviewrawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcG__pete46and2Sweet_SueZMondayPajamasMoopymegster
    VodkaShorebirdJimmySelfDestgoodersuk74______bitchkrieg________Debaucherony__iLightbulb________CYComedyShaunRightNowTitansHomerMikeCanRant
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I can only assume that each time Maroon 5 and Matchbox 20 members pass eachother in a hotel lobby, they all crouch and start snapping.

    • 923
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedLurkAtHomeMomDickScurvyWildeThingyWheelTodBroke_GurlGeneErectrawwwwwwwwwwrrr
    • 448
    • RETWEETS
    WheelTodBroke_GurlGeneErectFarOutReviewrawwwwwwwwwwrrrprncss_fifid2BMcG__Sweet_SueZ
    kentgrossarthclemwin__________nonosimprovBuzzRolledmeaganbb1________kyle_thatisallahoytheboat______mabuis______________
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I've got 99 problems and most of them centered around portion control and lack of exercise.

    • 873
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedundonestarMark_W_Taylorjaq_burkeianquinn77sanetvTracyLittlect11TheColeLundberg
    • 485
    • RETWEETS
    Mark_W_Taylorjaq_burkepdxjohnny99MaitiuSextonBranchaleeniesanetvBigTexassChanQueenofTacos
    Not_From_TroySparkCityComedyDBMaxP
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Hate to do this, need a transplant and pretty important I get one soon. Putting this out there if you want to donate:  http://patients.transplants.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=485635&lis=1&supId=375313393&patientPID=16123 

    • 526
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedrawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcG__Sweet_SueZbakedbrotatoesTheKenyan_yup_its_me_mchrisgayner
    • 757
    • RETWEETS
    BlackCuntFaceramasindgenicarbyMCaparco__PAT_E_ROCKmcvey_tracyAphroditeAfter5HappyHijabbi
    doublewenis______THEINBREDCAT______TheRealAnchovyCpin42MustBeBobby______bobbyblossomsCYComedyFamousMikeMinden6armyVet1972DurtMcHurttjunejuly12MikeCanRantTitansHomerim_not_smug______
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I remember when Instagram used to be the nickname for a reliable coke dealer.

    • 858
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedRobbySpankmeMark_W_TaylorCheys_PowerSarah__CortezDickScurvyScarsFourEyesrawwwwwwwwwwrrr
    • 403
    • RETWEETS
    Mark_W_Taylorpdxjohnny99ScarsFourEyeskentgrossarthd2BMcG__Sweet_SueZKrabsIsAMisterWarr
    ToneLoOnTheGoSCOOPISMSYesitsAl
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Public pools: The Walmart that doesn't make you wear a shirt.

    • 822
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedNicoleroxxuundonestarpsychogoddessrawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZProfessor_Crabd2BMcG__
    • 376
    • RETWEETS
    RobbySpankmepdxjohnny99TheWadestd2BMcG__Sweet_SueZMizParkerrMondayPajamasMoopymegster
    ThisAlexSteincuntsiclesTitansHomer
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Found my wife's big Black back massager under our bed... He said he was fixing the box spring.

    • 729
    • FAVS
    Earl_Uber_AllesquietlybiasedRobbySpankme420blankmanAlandogbutlerBangMyBongorawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcG__
    • 290
    • RETWEETS
    boab15AllIstErbAntErquietlybiasedBangMyBongopdxjohnny99favstar_historyd2BMcG__Ohgoddessitsme
    Tuna_Lover
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My friends, Ive accepted a liver offer and am headed for prep. I just want to send a thank you to all who donated, sent well-wishes and

    • 699
    • FAVS
    pdxjohnny99d2BMcG__Sweet_SueZScrambledMceggsthrow_rootMr_Kapowski__TheKenyan_yup_its_me_m
    • 245
    • RETWEETS
    pdxjohnny99d2BMcG__ScrambledMceggsthrow_rootPAT_E_ROCKRobertAndEdnaPaperWashJenny4ashley
    TitansHomernonsensetwit______Sparksy_NurseMurdererRomoForTheWin____Bearslietoo______MikeCanRantmichaelpathSternoShotsBoltneck55________
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    "Is THIS your card!" - Hallmark sales clerk every time David Blaine comes in.

    • 650
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedUnseenTouchpdxjohnny99LorieGZd2BMcG__Sweet_SueZthrill713ScrambledMceggs
    • 245
    • RETWEETS
    RobbySpankmepdxjohnny99d2BMcG__thrill713ScrambledMceggsCM2BTTHDShamranibKimberleymakado
    DaddyWithIssuesJimmywibbles______Brianhopecomedy
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I like to pick up male hitchhikers and, after a brief exchange of pleasantries, fall silent & play WHAM!'s "Careless Whisper" on a loop.

    • 610
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasednattylumpo88pdxjohnny99rawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZd2BMcG__Robbi123Sound_Dept
    • 263
    • RETWEETS
    RobbySpankmepdxjohnny99d2BMcG__thrill713ScrambledMceggsthrow_rootanncairns_annMr_Kapowski__
    Sparksy_im_not_smug______SunnyNeutrino
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Not her fault, but Kristen Stewart looks like every coke whore that ever ripped me off in the 1980's. Welcome back, angry masturbating.

    • 642
    • FAVS
    quietlybiasedRobbySpankmesmapdUnseenTouchpdxjohnny99LorieGZd2BMcG__ScarletStoner
    • 193
    • RETWEETS
    pdxjohnny99d2BMcG__thrill713ScrambledMceggsChinesh1sarahplegicmilehighocdPMTheron1
    mrtruthandsoul
@JournalismJunk

@JournalismJunk

This Train. TeamBackFat