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  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I jerked off to Poison for almost a year before I found out they were dudes. And then for like another 3 months.

    • 2,733
    • FAVS
    passivefrenzyBroke_GurlBulldozerBoserAbbstractedMindHildaRumLuke_Seldom_LeeMrJamesMcNultyjapp88
    • 1,427
    • RETWEETS
    Luke_Seldom_LeechickenandblueJShittyknickersaka_candymanRocketRankoonfinkowskaSheronkytonkI_Disdain
    Baz_3000FudgeRobotAllTheUglyTruthArrowsOfTheSun101RaceyHelmdawgEgristle_kissesrevenge_tanukisShrinkMediaXalqeeJorDAMN_CelebrityChezDonnie_FairburnarmyVet1972MarcusOreallyBillArrundalebitchkrieg________ThisAlexStein10InchesPlusDong_Hangereric10FdjdavemichaelsmewritesgoodHrBrynicfit75rossbransonu_jellicentiLightbulb________jgantleyb00bjizzLectorCaveo______seanx3ashleycremLogikalLivingweinerdog4lifeWeirdHerald
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Twitter: If she looks thin, she's fat; If she looks fat, she's funny; If she looks hot, she's a dude; If he's a dude, he's unemployed.

    • 1,436
    • FAVS
    Str8GuyGayQuoteBunnyDaalBarW38MrscrossbowJunLimjfish_vs_worldGeneErectglitterpanda123
    • 841
    • RETWEETS
    ClassichumourGfish_vs_worldglitterpanda123favstar_historyd2BMcGpete46and2AltCtrlRiseJmybad
    LockherupRNcirclejokesThe_MentalysttheanonymusoneBearslietoo______PhoenixRises69cupcakelyndarevenge_tanukisKingPatrick24
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Listen, bro, Karma Chameleon is gonna be turned up pretty loud, so you're gonna need to shout your safe word.

    • 1,478
    • FAVS
    Sparksy_GeneErectlilynoelle24__LemonZeringueloriacapobiancoNoirPoetograpymlccmReel_Slim_Brady
    • 777
    • RETWEETS
    Broke_GurlSparksy_loriacapobiancoMichaelNormantoCtchandler247mlccmSickayduhglitterpanda123
    michaelpathHollyMemphisDong_HangerKalvinMacleodTitansHomermllebeckyroseNinjaFuneralChazballparkarmyVet1972sususudafeddjdavemichaelsMyRedHairIsRealAdamUrbane________reddishunicornDana_Brunoveinarmorchrisviccaro
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My signature move is rolling down the window and reminding my wife to get me a Kit Kat after she's done pumping the gas.

    • 1,236
    • FAVS
    Uh_OoooooGeneErectThatsMyBushDenymesanitypurdon91mattkinkadesouth_side_danolievl
    • 657
    • RETWEETS
    Broke_GurlUh_OoooooGeneErectThatsMyBushMoore84HNightmarevalleyrbs44nattylumpo88
    CM2BTTHDDong_Hangerseanx3aneesa_pChiefTwittlerdaemonic3sunexplodeCelebrityChezDre_77___________EvilPandaX
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Um. Hello? It’s morning. You can leave now... Mom’s not making breakfast for three..

    • 1,262
    • FAVS
    Broke_GurlGeneErectrawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZejmichaels1LilSleezzzyd2BMcGVickee44
    • 631
    • RETWEETS
    GeneErectejmichaels1d2BMcGFlo_to_the_OSnarferninicatcervenyBad_Karma__shesananteater
    RockendenChazballparkJosesLovesYouGirlwithAIDSWonderMonkey78UrbanDouchebagmichaeljdawsonsquashguy15Minden6
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Chillin' outside KMart with a soft pretzel and slushie. Bitches be eyin' my shit...

    • 1,199
    • FAVS
    Broke_Gurlmagnetizm69GeneErectSaveItForFestwmorrissey79Ledbetter_KaraPinchSuckBlowSickayduh
    • 556
    • RETWEETS
    RowdyMcFlowdySaveItForFestSickayduhrawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcGpete46and2Fuzzy_suebrandonleecool
    BlACk__ThRoaTmilehighocdcpabryBearslietoo______krazy313hunterdjdavemichaelsJiminyKicksItjeffreyvanclea1ShaunRightNow
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    If I'm wearing Jordache jeans, you know I'm on fuck patrol.

    • 1,197
    • FAVS
    GeneErectrawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZd2BMcGMcSkitchersoncrysfulcadlackloJr1296Dan
    • 484
    • RETWEETS
    d2BMcGkathybotteasAndie_LVFuzzy_sueMondaypajamasMr_KapowskiPeteypops13TheDudesAbiding
    bourbonmelikeyBob_HellerDong_HangerSternoShotslawyerthoughtsRomoForTheWindjdavemichaelsShaunRightNowDurtMcHurtt
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Watching the toilet water reach the rim but get sucked back down before overflowing is probably a lot like skydiving or going outside.

    • 1,118
    • FAVS
    ScarsFourEyesGeneErecttravisaurussrawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZd2BMcGJunebug_28_Emily5656
    • 545
    • RETWEETS
    d2BMcGMcSkitchersoncaveman_mmonume_YouTookMySeatkathybotteasShittelsonDroppin_Dabs
    SonnyPisanotylerisajoke1joeljeffreyAnonymousTrophy__ThisAlexSteinmewritesgoodMikecanrant
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My signature move is saying, "I'm so ashamed of myself" with a mouthful of food.

    • 927
    • FAVS
    GeneErecttravisaurussrawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZejmichaels1d2BMcGkathybotteasAmishPornStar1
    • 506
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyejmichaels1d2BMcGlzellmer74AmishPornStar1Fuzzy_sueMondaypajamasScrambledMceggs
    McNarstleNervousJrThisAlexSteinCpt_Burnout
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    When I'm not rejecting some prime pussy, I'm flashing my debit card around the dollar store.

    • 1,014
    • FAVS
    GeneErectrawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcGpete46and2AmishPornStar1Fuzzy_suehereholddeezMondaypajamas
    • 418
    • RETWEETS
    FarOutReviewrawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcGpete46and2Fuzzy_sueMondaypajamasMoopymegsterthrow_root
    djdavemichaelsJimmySelfDestgoodersuk74______bitchkrieg________DebaucheronyiLightbulb________CYComedyShaunRightNowTitansHomerMikecanrant
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I can only assume that each time Maroon 5 and Matchbox 20 members pass eachother in a hotel lobby, they all crouch and start snapping.

    • 922
    • FAVS
    LurkAtHomeMomDickScurvyWildeThingyWheelTodBroke_GurlGeneErectrawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZ
    • 448
    • RETWEETS
    WheelTodBroke_GurlGeneErectFarOutReviewrawwwwwwwwwwrrrprncss_fifid2BMcGFuzzy_sue
    kentgrossarthclemwin__________nonosimprovBuzzRolledmeaganbb1________kyle_thatisallahoytheboatmabuis______________
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I've got 99 problems and most of them centered around portion control and lack of exercise.

    • 872
    • FAVS
    undonestarMark_W_Taylorjaq_burkeianquinn77sanetvTracyLittlect11cole_lundbergMaverickGames
    • 485
    • RETWEETS
    Mark_W_Taylorjaq_burkepdxjohnny99MaitiuSextonBranchaleeniesanetvBigTexassChanQueenofTacos
    Not_From_TroySparkCityComedyDBMaxP
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Hate to do this, need a transplant and pretty important I get one soon. Putting this out there if you want to donate:  http://patients.transplants.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=485635&lis=1&supId=375313393&patientPID=16123 

    • 525
    • FAVS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcGFuzzy_sueBakedBrotatoesTheKenyan_MellicubedchrisgaynerBlackCuntFace
    • 757
    • RETWEETS
    BlackCuntFaceramasindgenicarbyMCaparcoPAT_E_ROCKmcvey_tracyAphroditeAfter5HappyHijabbi
    doublewenis______THEINBREDCAT______TheRealAnchovyCpin42MustBeBobby______bobbyblossomsCYComedyFamousMikeMinden6armyVet1972DurtMcHurttjunejuly12MikecanrantTitansHomerim_not_smug______
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I remember when Instagram used to be the nickname for a reliable coke dealer.

    • 856
    • FAVS
    Mark_W_TaylorABnonymousCheysSarah__CortezDickScurvyScarsFourEyesrawwwwwwwwwwrrrAtheisticankentgrossarth
    • 403
    • RETWEETS
    Mark_W_Taylorpdxjohnny99ScarsFourEyeskentgrossarthd2BMcGFuzzy_sueKrabsIsAMisterWarr
    ToneLoOnTheGoSCOOPISMSYesitsAl
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Public pools: The Walmart that doesn't make you wear a shirt.

    • 820
    • FAVS
    undonestarpsychogoddessrawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZProfessor_Crabd2BMcGMizParkerrRobbi123
    • 375
    • RETWEETS
    pdxjohnny99TheWadestd2BMcGFuzzy_sueMizParkerrMondaypajamasMoopymegsterthrow_root
    ThisAlexSteincuntsiclesTitansHomer
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Found my wife's big Black back massager under our bed... He said he was fixing the box spring.

    • 726
    • FAVS
    420blankmanAlandogbutlerBangMyBongorawwwwwwwwwwrrrd2BMcGFor_KicksOhgoddessitsmeScrambledMceggs
    • 287
    • RETWEETS
    BangMyBongopdxjohnny99favstar_historyd2BMcGOhgoddessitsmeFuzzy_sueScrambledMceggsthrow_root
    Tuna_Lover
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    My friends, Ive accepted a liver offer and am headed for prep. I just want to send a thank you to all who donated, sent well-wishes and

    • 699
    • FAVS
    pdxjohnny99d2BMcGFuzzy_sueScrambledMceggsthrow_rootMr_KapowskiTheKenyan_Mellicubed
    • 245
    • RETWEETS
    pdxjohnny99d2BMcGScrambledMceggsthrow_rootPAT_E_ROCKRobertAndEdnaPaperWashJenny4ashley
    TitansHomernonsensetwit______Sparksy_NurseMurdererRomoForTheWinBearslietoo______MikecanrantmichaelpathSternoShotsBoltneck55________
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    "Is THIS your card!" - Hallmark sales clerk every time David Blaine comes in.

    • 649
    • FAVS
    StrewnPetalspdxjohnny99LorieGZd2BMcGFuzzy_suethrill713ScrambledMceggsMisterWarr
    • 244
    • RETWEETS
    pdxjohnny99d2BMcGthrill713ScrambledMceggsCM2BTTHDShamranibKimberleymakadoad_terrorem
    DaddyWithIssuesJimmywibbles______Brianhopecomedy
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    I like to pick up male hitchhikers and, after a brief exchange of pleasantries, fall silent & play WHAM!'s "Careless Whisper" on a loop.

    • 608
    • FAVS
    pdxjohnny99rawwwwwwwwwwrrrLorieGZd2BMcGRobbi123Sound_Deptvaleriestranixthrill713
    • 262
    • RETWEETS
    pdxjohnny99d2BMcGthrill713ScrambledMceggsthrow_rootanncairns_annMr_KapowskiPMTheron1
    Sparksy_im_not_smug______SunnyNeutrino
  • JournalismJunk
      D @JournalismJunk

    Not her fault, but Kristen Stewart looks like every coke whore that ever ripped me off in the 1980's. Welcome back, angry masturbating.

    • 640
    • FAVS
    smapdStrewnPetalspdxjohnny99LorieGZd2BMcGScarletStoneraprilsthemacdaddyskitten212
    • 193
    • RETWEETS
    pdxjohnny99d2BMcGthrill713ScrambledMceggsChinesh1sarahplegicmilehighocdPMTheron1
    mrtruthandsoul
@JournalismJunk

@JournalismJunk

This Train. TeamBackFat