Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Guy on street corner letting us know via sign that 'God will destroy the hole world! ' Take that, gophers.
Friend from H.S. who doesn't work announced she's taking a break from FB b/c it's a time waste. Gonna miss knowing every food she eats.
I just duct taped the hell out of something. Feeling so handy!
I like it when ya'll get all Instagram artsy with your titty avis so it's hard to tell if it's boobs or plumber's crack we're looking at.
Sometimes my tweet stream looks like a series of profile ads for Lowered Expectations.
Team Follow Back should exchange numbers & get a conference call so they can listen to each other breathe.
Wonder how different life would be if I hadn't misunderstood the guidance counselor's advice as "Take every opportunity to butter yourself."
"Would you want to be snowbound for three days with this person?" is a good criteria for evaluating relationship prospects.
Twitter PSA: Twitter really *has* been randomly dropping followers. It's come up lots in the last few weeks. Don't get hurt over a mistake.
Tell me again how "it is what it is." Because I think what it's going to be is me setting fire to your chair.
I like my men like I Iike my coffee. Strong, sweet & frothing at the lip.
Wow. My stepdaughter & granddaughter were in the leveled Briarwood school. Everyone from the school is OK. Those drills aint' for nothin!
No need to write it down. I have pornographic memory.
When the moon blocks your eye like a big pizza pie, that's glaucoma.
Tweets on live TV site yesterday had idiots talking abt how old female anchor looked & stating the victims needed to get right w/ God. 0_o
Hard lessons of a ginger: realizing you'll never acheive the tan level of beige band-aids.
If I were to barter sex for homegrown produce, would that make me a garden hoe?
Combine laser tag with laser hair removal for hours of family grooming fun.
Seriously? There's nothing serious here. Let me dab up that blood for you.