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Friend cracked us up telling of a patient who under "Recreational Drugs" on history section listed "Birth Control Pills."
Tweets on live TV site yesterday had idiots talking abt how old female anchor looked & stating the victims needed to get right w/ God. 0_o
Wow. My stepdaughter & granddaughter were in the leveled Briarwood school. Everyone from the school is OK. Those drills aint' for nothin!
Given the # of times hotel maids have walked in on me semi-clad, I think using the dead bolt should be my go-to plan.
"I had the most vidid sex dream last night, and you were there... And you! And you! And you!..." - Awkward start to a board meeting.
Tempted to add "Hand Model for Jiffy Lube" to my Other Experience section just so LinkedIn can include it in updates to my network.
The grocery is advertising gift certificates for grads. Nothing says, "Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out" like that.
The self-defeating tapes in my mind are so old, they're on 8-tracks.
Seriously? There's nothing serious here. Let me dab up that blood for you.