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@Juan_Leche's (John Sperm) most faved Tweets...
Juan_Leche
Do these moobs make me look fat?
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
I'm running late to work. I can't help it if this masturbation session is 2 hours long.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
Finally, everyone has left the office. A minute longer and I would've burped that fart.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
Oh I'm sorry. Did that flush interrupt your cell phone conversation?
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
These nuts were made for bustin' and that's what they will do. One of these days my nuts will bust all over you.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
I wish last night's dinner of 'pulled pork' was a euphemism. FML
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
Your face hurts my feelings. Here put this bag over it.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
Planning on renewing our vows. Hope she likes this Nuvaring.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
You've gone through all that trouble you might as well keep going. Related: swallowing.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
Didn't Jesus say looking at a woman with sexual desire in your heart was the same as actually having sex with her? I win!!!
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
Oh great now the LG chocolate is touch screen. Everything nowadays is touch screen. Touch this, touch that. Why don't you touch my penis!
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
Hey TLC, the idea of airing a show '650lb virgin' is not as appealing as a 650lb labia.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
If you download an app called 'the moron test', does it automatically make you one?
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
Man does not live by bread alone, also stars.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
There are black skid marks on this toilet seat. What in the world did you fucking eat?
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
I'm so hungry I can eat an entire vagina.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
123456789101112...dooodoodoodooodododooodooo...what? It's Sesame Street. Never mind, you won't understand.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
This cock isn't going to fuck itself.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
It's a full moon out. That would explain me humping your leg.
@Juan_Leche
Juan_Leche
Me: 2 pairs is fine. Wife: no, because the one's at home have holes. Cashier: umm debit or credit? Related: never shop4underwear w/the wife.
@Juan_Leche
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