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Disney owns Miramax, so the gimp from "Pulp Fiction" is technically a Disney Princess.
The most unrealistic scene in "The Amazing Spider-Man" is the scene that depicts Bing as Peter Parker's search engine of choice.
If you play "The Dark Side of the Moon" over any Katherine Heigl movie, you won't be able to hear Katherine Heigl, so that's kind of cool.
Nice try, festive crayon font, but we all know what happens in children's hospitals.
"Elmo used to like getting tickled. Then Elmo let a lot of strangers tickle Elmo. Now when someone tickles Elmo, Elmo feels nothing." ~Elmo
I tried to cook dinner at home last night. Long story short, I'm addicted to meth now.
Dear Tori Amos: Could you please write a song about that one time I ate at T.G.I. Friday's by myself?
Can we just go ahead and make "ruined" a relationship status option on Facebook?
The trick is getting your microwavable dinner heated up before you get too depressed to eat it.
"The Lion King" is the story of a privileged child who bums around Africa for a few years before going to work at his dad's old job.
Go to Whole Foods and tell the cashier, "I hear NPR is hiring copyeditors." Then scream, "Just kidding!" Their tears are rich with vitamins.
Yo, Ethiopia: We just invented Mio, a gel that makes bottled water taste better because we thought clean water tasted boring. How are you?
They probably should have given Chris Brown a Nerf Grammy, just in case he throws it at someone later tonight.
Is a Carly Rae Jepsen concert just two consecutive hours of "Call Me Maybe," and how much are tickets?
"Be the change you want to see in the world." Really? I have to be the Vicodin I want to see in Pop-Tart filling?
Mozilla Firefox sounds like something that would have fought the Power Rangers in the nineties.
I take a lot of panic naps.
