Lay off the Old Spice, old people…

Spending time with the ginger one today @juney1981 ;D

I AM a sexy bitch. I AM a sexy bitch. I AM a sexy bitch. I AM a sexy bitch. I AM a sexy bitch. I AM a sexy bitch. I AM a sexy bitch.

All I want is some nipples. I'm so sick of drawing them in.

I like to freak my cat out by just staring at the corner and hissing.

I have a Rubik’s Cube from 1985 that I still haven’t finished yet.

At the end of the day if you can't laugh at each other's faults you're not drinking enough.

Phoning in sick to places that I don't work..... Hilarious

I’m too good of a prize to worry about handing out second chances.

To get a guys attention, innocently drop something & let him pick it up for you.

I find handcuffs work great for this.

O M GEEEEE you'd soooooooo suit my scalding hot coffee all over your stupid fuckin face, MATE.

I would rather go straight to hell than wait around outside a gate with a bunch of arseholes.

I don't wanna hear about your yoga unless it gives you the kind of stretchy arms that can reach my lighter under the couch.

Favstar is stupid and a waste of time. Then again, so am I.

I've shared with you my deepest thoughts...mostly about beer, but that shit was deep.

Twitter is for fun. But if your fun is making people feel bad, well, not only am I not interested, but I’m also sad for you.

Let's start our own Twitter.

Got to love Scotland. A place where in the summer, the rain just gets warmer.

Truthful Tuesday: I co-wrote many of The Beatles songs.

If your honking at someone swerving, fuck off...I'm reading tweets.

Such inconsiderate asses.