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Twitter: helping slightly overweight, mildly attractive, funny people with great personalities build self-esteem since 2006.
Unfollowed someone today when he tweeted negatively about gays/lesbians. He's entitled to his opinion & I'm entitled to think he's an ass.
Girl on FB was bitchin that her jeans still smelled like mothballs after 3 washes. I forgot I was on FB & asked if it was maybe her vagina.
"Tis better to have tweeted, been followed, then unfollowed, than to never have tweeted at all." -Alfred Lord Twitterson
I shaved just my knees today because the jeans I want to wear have holes in the knees. In case anybody was wondering how lazy I am...
Everytime I see the popular peeps on Twitter interacting w/ each other & ignoring the rest of us the Golden Girls theme song pops in my head
I had to drape an extension cord & power strip across the body of my sleeping GF because Steve Jobs left a legacy of a shitty battery life.
If 1 person followed, faved or RTed you, you win Twitter. It's like the Special Olympics here. Everyone's retarded & everyone's a winner.
Call me crazy, but shouldn't politicians be more focused on problems like the homeless & the hungry & less on whether 2 ppl should marry?
FYI: The fabric department at Michael's also doubles as a petting zoo & provides hours of entertainment if you take enough ecstasy.
"I am not a cunt. I am not a cunt. I am not a cunt." - Some cunt trying to convince herself she's not a cunt
Please don't follow me so that I'll follow you & boost your numbers. That's no fun. Follow me because you're mildly entertained by me...
As a fan of comics I'm always asked what super-power I'd want. I'd like the ability to hibernate like a woodland creature because I'm lazy..
If you annoy me I do this cute thing where I look at you, almost as if I'm looking through you, & I quietly judge you. And hate you.
I don't flip my middle finger anymore. If I mouth "your mom" & make a V with my fingers & stick my tongue through both it's more offensive.
It's funny how sometimes you can only see people for who they really are by taking a step back. And by funny, I mean sad & disheartening.
Q: A Canadian, a guy from New Jersey & a lesbian all walk into a hotel room... What do they have in common?
A: Twitter
People who can't think for themselves will fade & be forgotten. Or get herpes & never forget. Or both.
I once was a motherfucker, but her kid had a kid & grandmotherfucker didn't have the same ring to it.
