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Microsoft's new ad, in which it openly mocks Apple, is one step away from raw desperation.
Whaaaaaaaat? James Gandolfini dead at 51? That's crazy... This is exactly the kind of TMZ report we're trained to doubt.
What Paula Deen is doing right now is known as "strengthening your brand." The people who silently agreed with her anyway now love her more.
If Facebook went dark, I'd just call or email my friends. But if Twitter went dark, how would I keep up with all my amazing strangers?
They exchanged stories from their underage drinking days. Now they're leaving. "May I walk you to your car?" "Sure." Date pregame, maybe?
At a bar. I think I'm sitting beside a first date. If it gets interesting, I'll let you know.
Good lord, Britney Spears is 31. That's how old Madonna was when she released Like a Prayer... when Britney was 7.
And then the sleepy girl said, "Daddy, will you read me a story about a charming executive who rescues a barista from her student loans?"
Man of Steel has a promo deal with Twizzlers? It makes sense. One is an indestructible alien-as-Christ metaphor, and one is tubes of sugar.
I found two spiders in my laundry and chased them off, each one in a different building. Now I feel horrible because maybe they were lovers.
I just got an email invite for a webinar that's comprised only of buzzwords and prepositions. Find me an escape pod.