Microsoft's new ad, in which it openly mocks Apple, is one step away from raw desperation.

Whaaaaaaaat? James Gandolfini dead at 51? That's crazy... This is exactly the kind of TMZ report we're trained to doubt.

#TheBenefitsOfBeingAHoe You in all the garden sheds, gettin mad work on nasty crabgrass and also some tilling so the harvest is profitable

This is one powerful 3 minute animation...  http://bit.ly/143GuCS 

What Paula Deen is doing right now is known as "strengthening your brand." The people who silently agreed with her anyway now love her more.

Proof that we're actually living in the past:  http://bit.ly/11ZUEGu 

Hey. Hire this lawyer, because... well:  http://bit.ly/11KhjTd 

This Humpday Throwback goes back 25 years (!) - J. J. Fad, "Supersonic" (1988) ~  http://ow.ly/lG8i7 

If Facebook went dark, I'd just call or email my friends. But if Twitter went dark, how would I keep up with all my amazing strangers?

They exchanged stories from their underage drinking days. Now they're leaving. "May I walk you to your car?" "Sure." Date pregame, maybe?

At a bar. I think I'm sitting beside a first date. If it gets interesting, I'll let you know.

Good lord, Britney Spears is 31. That's how old Madonna was when she released Like a Prayer... when Britney was 7.

Woman is denied U.S. citizenship because she's an atheist.  http://bit.ly/14GRGI6 

Pittsburgh's startup accelerator @alphalab says goodbye to their Program Manager, @woycheck, who's headed to Google:  http://bit.ly/11HBQrz 

Maybe the best-looking movie trailer I've seen all year. ~ A Band Called Death:  http://bit.ly/11HowmR 

And then the sleepy girl said, "Daddy, will you read me a story about a charming executive who rescues a barista from her student loans?"

Man of Steel has a promo deal with Twizzlers? It makes sense. One is an indestructible alien-as-Christ metaphor, and one is tubes of sugar.

I found two spiders in my laundry and chased them off, each one in a different building. Now I feel horrible because maybe they were lovers.

Defending Miss Utah: "I have no idea what I'd have said if someone had asked me such a moronic question on live TV."  http://n.pr/1bNMliw 

I just got an email invite for a webinar that's comprised only of buzzwords and prepositions. Find me an escape pod.