In my mind, Gotye and Goatse are the same person.

@carmanavenue That's what we call it. You would call it cabining. Or "lying about our outdoorsiness."

Someday, a web app will own your firstborn because their T&C (which you agreed to without reading) said they will.

Don't fret about Facebook's poor stock outlook. Like everything else they do, it'll look completely different next week.

If you think Twitter is banal, you should watch TV news anchors try to ad-lib something meaningful after a news story.

TV's business model is broken. So is film, newspapers, and publishing. We're not good at communicating for a living.

In all the time we spend trying to think of something to tweet, we could be doing something worth tweeting about.

Who's Who just faxed me to celebrate my "lifetime of executive achievements." I've been employed here for 2 months.

So much of life is choosing what to ignore.

Love the way @Affogato is paying homage to its past on Facebook now that the cafe has closed. http://t.co/w1GPlnd4

Facebook reveals what drives the most engagement. (AKA, "We need to KIND OF talk about Kevin...") http://t.co/vh2laUp6

Donna Summer, MCA and Levon Helm. The jam band in heaven is going to be extra-spicy this weekend.

SPOILER ALERT: Actor @clarkgregg (Agent Coulson) talks about "that scene" in The Avengers. http://t.co/DGdQNey4

The 6 Enemies of Greatness (and Happiness): http://t.co/DxcfWiSr

Mark Zuckerberg knows all your fetishes. http://t.co/8nJM7xkF

What did people who chronically complain do before they had the Internet to blithely rail upon?

Each day, I'm reminded that I really don't care what people think, but I do hate when they miss the point entirely.

I should start a Pinterest board called "All the Discarded Condoms I Find Around Baltimore." Because, damn.

Don't think of it as NBC canceling 30 Rock, Community and Parks & Rec. Think of it as NBC misunderstanding its business.

Dear webinar hosts: please cut the formalities at the opening, or your audience will mentally evacuate.