Why don't you get off your tricycle and say that shit to my face.

Sunglasses should come already lost.

Napoleon was awesome at France France Revolution.

Happy veterans day Soulja boy

"outline my penis" -Dick Tracy

I don't know, CAN you get a what-what?

"I'll shut the fuck up when you shut the fuck down." -Future me arguing with my robot best friend

I use to connect the shit out of some 4.

I wish I could just live in that fireworks and Ray Charles scene of the Sandlot forever.

"I'm following a billion people" -China's government

"Time to burn all my jackets." -guy who doesn't understand seasons

This Girls Gone Wilde video is just girls sitting at home quietly reading Oscar Wilde.

Just bought the Idiot's Guide to Audio Books on audio book, but I'm having a hard time playing it.

Decaffeinated coffee and non-alcoholic beer have to be made for the alien pretending to be human demographic.

Don't ever question my loyalty, or I'll stab you in the back.

Can someone be illegally blind?

"I hate the oscars" Oscar the Grouch
"I'm crazy about the oscars" Oscar Wilde
"I'll be selling hot dogs outside the oscars" Oscar Mayer

Fun bags are the worst name ever for gozongas.

I need water. Third world problems, am I right?

The irony of a junkie seeing the word withdrawal every time they take money out for drugs.