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  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    It's easy for a toy to become an adult toy. It's all about location.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    Coopakid13l1zerdMDSkiffer________bst31nFunFloodwdegLipstickSpiceMrElMatador
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    bst31nLilithOnTopMrElMatadorfavstar_popMrsEvilEyesNickadooTheNordicHammer
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    I can't masturbate and then head out the door. I need time to process the shame.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    Coopakid13l1zerdtysoncrosbiestartyourcarterLaSpanglishFly____MrElMatadorDONTJIMMYMEJULZtedsomething
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    MrElMatadorGramerQuingCool_JesseTheNordicHammerLime6713MiloKilledPunkNoirPoetograpyNigga_yougay
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    If you can't jack off to my tweets, I'm going to have to come over there and jerk it myself.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    CGriffComedynptoasterMDSkiffer________BrecAmendedFunFloodThePlainManMrElMatadorHoldenMacCrotch
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    TheNordicHammersnifgit
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    My vagina called in sick cause it's tired of being poked and spit on.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    l1zerdMDSkiffer________MrElMatadorTheNordicHammerDONTJIMMYMEJULZiluvmuscles_______Nickburtvertigospiral88
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    MsKittyKatBlk
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    Fred Durst doesn't give a fuck about you. Listen to his music. He does it for the nookie.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    MDSkiffer________MrElMatadorDONTJIMMYMEJULZtedsomethingthisjasonbopipesray12a____________MrSugarpants1
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    _Vaginasaurus
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    When I reach 100 followers, I'm going to do something epic. Like more tweeting.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    MDSkiffer________MrElMatadorDONTJIMMYMEJULZtedsomethingnptoaster_B4TM4Nvxlksnarkanoid
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    IGotsSmarts
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    I've managed to turn a few guys gay. Some of them are in prison as we speak.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    Coopakid13WisdomBooth______MDSkiffer________FunFloodThePlainManMrElMatadorDONTJIMMYMEJULZFSUSteve__
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    Don't worry about leaving the tampon in. There's enough room for the both of you.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    xtopherswansonMDSkiffer________ThePlainManMrElMatadorTheNordicHammerMajorDickDanger__Saint_Angrier____dingman35________
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    MDSkiffer________MajorDickDanger__
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    My dick jokes are far in between my vagina jokes.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    MDSkiffer________MrElMatadorthisjasonTheNordicHammerbopipesAndyScreaming____NoirPoetograpynptoaster
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    TwatBlock________
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    If being called a faggot offends you, then quit being one.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    nickthegallferWisdomBooth______nptoasterMDSkiffer________FunFloodThePlainManMrElMatadorFSUSteve__
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    Morning sex means I get it from behind so we can't smell each other's breath.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    Coopakid13nptoasterMDSkiffer________MrElMatadorWisdomBooth______TheNordicHammerblueshellsd______NotSilversurfer
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    Recycling isn't limited to plastics, paper, and glass. It can also include cucumbers for masturbation and home cooking.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    Coopakid13TheNordicHammerlickmystampnptoasterleft_flankdannydogmouthlemmywinkler______DukeOfOyl________
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    True love is making you laugh so hard that you swallow your gum so you can remember this moment for the next 7 years.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    Coopakid13nptoasterMDSkiffer________ThePlainManMrElMatadorangestrange______DukeOfOyl________hoopahoep
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    It should be a compliment that I rub myself to your tweets, right?

    • 8
    • FAVS
    MDSkiffer________MrElMatadorWisdomBooth______nptoasterseankibTheNordicHammerDukeOfOyl________Dr_Oy
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    The best way to fuck with someone is to favorite their tweet, then unfavor it.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    MDSkiffer________MrElMatadorbopipescarlcon87DukeOfOyl________NotSilversurferteriberry11SeanBlazed
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    Does wearing a pad in a pool count as a flotation device?

    • 7
    • FAVS
    MrElMatadorWisdomBooth______tedsomethingtheRratedBullvxlkNotSilversurferl1zerd
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    MrsBaker420
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    I'm not trying to change you. I'm just trying to train you into becoming a more tolerant individual to live with.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    bopipesIrish_317NoirPoetograpynptoaster
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    JecJohnsonNoirPoetograpyGotSarah__________nptoaster
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    9 out of 10 times if I say, 'I want to fuck you up,' it's because I haven't gotten laid in awhile and I'm confusing violence with sexuality.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    MrElMatadorthisjasonbopipesolvera_mScreamingDanzigWynnaminSinamin__TrueTorontoGirl
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    YearOfRat
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    My high school talent show didn't like my demonstration of taking off a guy's pants with my teeth.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    Coopakid13Terenia01nptoasterTheNordicHammerCreepyUncleDanNotTooFunnyangestrange______
  • K2dadiz113
      K dizzle @K2dadiz113

    I'm not really into small talk unless you consider 'taking off your pants' as such.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    MDSkiffer________MrElMatadorWisdomBooth______nptoasterDukeOfOyl________dingman35________carlcon87
@K2dadiz113

@K2dadiz113

I'm 24, MARRIED, & run my own business. If tweeting about sex or my boobs offends you, then fuck off. Have a great day!