How did you know that I woke up wanting to talk to a bunch of walls today? What's your secret?

In an instant, I remembered everything

Two Girls One Noose

I went to the gym yesterday, so I should probably start tweeting about that at least twenty times per day, right?

@beverlycleary69, we be dunkin'

The first thing ingested upon waking: a package of pop rocks entitled "BJ BLAST" that adds an appropriate 69 calories to my daily intake

@grizbruiser, hahahahaha

Let my legs shake me to sleep and don't wake me when I sweat on my sheets

CUT THE CORD THAT STRANGLES YOUR HEAD

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend

The coolest part about not really drinking anymore is that you'll never have to worry about hearing from anyone ever again apparently

@beverlycleary69, how is it?

I get so excited when I know that I'm about to brake check the shit out of someone

Coming to terms with my status as a drifter

@grizbruiser, I'd be bummed about everything else, but I would totally hang out in some boxes in the trees

@grizbruiser, that's kinda sick though

Watch what the humans ruin with machines

My entire world smells like a bonfire and that's pretty okay

@beverlycleary69, ling langs mmm

My cat has developed this habit of needing to sit on my shoulders every time he sees that I'm sitting down