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Walking to class trying not to fall on the ice..I feel my sock slipping off my foot....God is punishing me for lusting after popcorn chicken
Owen Wilson would totally play Norbert in a live action Angry Beavers movie
Nothing is as intense as the sense of panic you feel as you scramble to end an accidental FaceTime call.
It's amazing how quickly this weather guy went from "SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR LOVED ONES" to..."oh just looks like a bit of hail coming in here".
I am so easily distracted when I study that I just looked up and turned my head when I saw a fuzz slide across the floor of the library
Now taking applications for a spring break travel buddy.....SOMEONE PLEASE COME TO THE BEACH WITH ME IM DESPERATE!
So how do I go about suing the Internet for turning me into a cat person?
Guy Fieri just said "pork butt is my middle name". No further comment:
Lately my version of working out has been putting on work out clothes then getting sidetracked by all the food in the kitchen.
I want to Spice World so bad right now
I just farted and a little poop came out
I'm too intellectual. My mental gymnastics will over capacitate your train of thought. -Snoop Lion