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Warm up a pint of Pine Sol and dip your balls in it. Trust me on this one. I don't want to ruin the surprise.
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Being a Retarded Bitch Idiot #lessambitiousbooks
I have the weirdest boner right now...
How did this Hitler cake "ruin" your birthday??? Nobody thinks you picked out your own cake...
Masturbate like no one is watching. Shit like no one is listening. Rape like you’ve never been loved, and live like it’s heaven on Earth
i cannot believe there weren't laws against massacring all of those little kids....
Her pussy was unbelievable -- I'm talking fresh, never frozen.
#shedidntcallbecause of the rape
Your scrotum can be used as a modem (9800 baud) #notsousefulsuperpower
A contestant on the Blue Barracudas suddenly stumbles down the Stairs of Knowledge and cracks his head open. Olmec is silent #bannedepisodes
Can someone explain the 2nd ammendment to me like I'm Five.... and a gunman just walked into my classroom???
worst pickup line: "well, i hope you don't get raped by a stranger tonight, 'cuz it'd be all your fault, walking around looking that fine!"
#TextsThatGetNoReply "I can teach ya 'bout boners"
#lessambitiousjokes Tractatus LOLico-Philosophicus
fucking butthole diarrhea
You all said it was "puppy love," but it is 7 years later and I am still fucking the same dog.
I am a six pack of enemas for your brain and butt / Co-founder of Fecal Force Five / Runner-up, 2006 Up-the-Bum-athon.