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i'm not crying there are mermaids in my tears and i'm setting them free
i'm so happy right now i feel my heart might burst into a million puppies all shaped like hearts
I have no idea what it means either
been at this music festival for 2 hours and the king of the giggle pushers has already approached us asking us to join his gang
WELL WELL WELL GUESS WHO FINALLY DECIDED TO BE MY BOYFRIEND GUESS I CAN RELEASE THESE RABID WOLVES BACK INTO THE WILD
what's cool about this Angelina Jolie thing is i get to hear men's opinions about what women should do with their bodies cuz that's original
should i tell my boss my eyes are red because i was smoking weed or because i was crying because both are true
please sign my petition for people with signature fetishes
wouldn't be that impressed if my toast came out looking like jesus but if it popped up with peanut butter already on it that'd be cool
*buzzes intercom* Karen, I just found a Tumblr of baby pigs wearing human clothes. Cancel the rest of my appointments for the day.
why don't you make like a tree and live for hundreds of years because i love you
*takes a nap in a graveyard*
I can't write anymore I'm giving it all up to be a mermaid doctor
whenever it rains it's all of our dead relatives crying because they watched us masturbate