Meet, Skeet and Delete.

Woke up to "wakey wakey stranger" I don't know what's worse saying wakey wakey or actually not know him.

I don't know why I keep dating, I should stick to twitter crushes

I just want a guy to bang me as I hit the bong, as that really to much to ask for?

Little gnomes steal my lighters when I'm not looking

I'm high, drunk and just met up with an old friend, tequila. Be prepared to meet my nipple piercings tonight strangers.

My real friends don't understand how I'm on twitter all the time but they can't find me. Yeah I went through the effort to block you all.

I always see my ex's at the mall, today I saw three there.. Probably shouldn't have bought a lotto ticket this morning.

I like to met the guys parents before sex, that way I can see if dads a better choice.

Stop treating my vagina like a slap chop.

Should I follow; a) my heart, b) my mind, or c) my vagina.

For once I'd like to be the chick in the relationship.

If sarcasm is the language of the devil, your going to hell :)

A doggie life jacket, are you kidding me? Why can't I be rich or spoiled by the rich.

Down at the waterfront, couple fucking next to us.. "Me I hear the waves" lil cuz:"Must have been a fat chick, if can hear the waves"

My mother just told me to smoke, apparently I'm bitchy cause I'm quitting.

2 people away from 100 followers, hmpf.

I was kinda sad when I found out I wasn't pregnant, now accepting new reasons for this extra ten pounds that showed up recently.

Watch out men are hairy

Unless your sitting in this lap, it's none of your buisness what he does with his penis.