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So you want a medal for your major life change, but "don't need this," when I mention my life change? Of course. . .
A lot of hot men at this pool but the chic five chairs over keeps yapping about her boyfriend in county jail. (true story)
I can't be the only one that was in a sorority that made us wear good awful jumpers to events.
These new flats I'm wearing are tearing into my Achilles tendon. Wearing heels would have been more comfortable. #footwearcrisis
I'm like Snow White in that I'm often tricked into biting poison apples but not like Snow White in the romantic dead kiss department.
I like to burst into tears on Father's Day and moan "I'll never be a Father" to anyone who will listen.
I don't know what's worse: tan lines or panty lines.
Ladies, I know it's taboo, but bare legs and peep toe shoes don't work for everyone. In the right setting, sheer American tan tights work.
I always start my period on the hottest, most humid day of the year. It's a nice tradition.
If I was born male, I'd get a sex change too. And as soon as possible.
Why would I ever buy $50 dollars worth of makeup at CVS to get $5 dollars off makeup at CVS?
Wish me luck girls. After 12+ hours in tights in 90 degree heat I am taking them off. I'm scared. Will scented candles work? Never again.
I had no idea it was going to be 90 degrees today. I learned if you are going to wear tights read the weather report.
The problem with family get togethers is that the men's room sound a lot more fun than the ladies. Remind me why we are separated by gender?
Some old man with a gallon of Brute 33 after shave on him just hugged me (after church) and now I smell like my father, circa 1988.
I want to take teenage girls who are dressed "grown up" for church, weddings, etc and show them the proper skirt and heel length. Makeup too
Easter reminds me of those ugly dresses my mother made me wear with those ugly white tights and Mary Jane shoes to church and brunch. Yuck.