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Sorry but I can't afford the rent full time anymore
Changes I'm making as mayor:
1) Maximum rent of $500
2) Redesign city flag to include ice cream
3) Free burrito Friday
Don't worry, just some hunger grumbles
If NYC is "the city that never sleeps" then SF is "the city that goes to yoga at 7, grabs a burrito, and then passes out on a couch by 11"
Last night you slept half-naked on top of your sheets. Tonight you're wearing a hoodie. Welcome to San Francisco.
I just ate the 4th of July. It tastes like gun powder and disappointment.
SF: It's so hot we're dying
Rest of country: Turn on AC and stop whining
SF: We don't have that
Rest of country: 😶
You might leave San Francisco, but San Francisco never leaves you.
Tonight's low - 53 degrees
Today's high - everyone in San Francisco
Weather update: still raining like a mofo
'Twas the night before Apple's event
when all through the city
everyone looked at their phones
and thought "this one's getting shitty"
Last night you were sweaty and slept on top of your covers. Tonight you're bundling up so you don't freeze. Welcome to San Francisco.
Goodnight San Francisco. May you dream of meeting someone special who knows love is a combination of trust, patience, and burritos.
Every time you hear someone say they're on a juice cleanse, eat a burrito in their honor.
WARNING: light showers continue to plague SF, residents are encouraged to avoid streets since no one knows how to drive in the rain
Today's high: 94 degrees
Tonight's low: trying to sleep in your apartment
All that is sunny does not glitter, not all those in the fog are lost.
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