I don't always walk up the stairs. But when I do I stop half way to rest for a minute.

Sometimes talking to people makes me cry and other times I still cry.

Quick guys! Remind me how to be funny again!

My boss sings along to The Muppets at work, so yeah, I know pain.

Really hate this professor so I'm sitting outside her classroom eating Cheetoh's REALLY LOUDLY.

"I'm an artist." - Poor people.

Mitt Romney smells like poop and Obama looks like it! (is this twitter funny? is this how you do it?)

Something about politics.

What am I even doing back on this dang thang.

Sometimes I just want someone to be like "Hey, you're not ugly. You're just a little not pretty".

If another customer asks me "What's a good movie?" I'm just going to shove Ghostbusters in their face and yell "BILL FUCKIN MURRAY".

@zachheltzel Shutup.

Just sneezed and clapped my hands, does that count as multitasking?

@lolligans I love my lolly.

@gavinpivott I missed your face. :)

@nevschulman We need an episode where the person is completely honest. I met my man here on twitter, 6 months long distance. Love catfish!

@orvllshrednbchr I am! :D I've misses thee!

@cocakoehler I found a dead animal and thought of you! That's pretty much all I got on that.

@cocakoehler "... People let me tell ya bout my best friend!" - what I thought when I found your twitter account.

@jwallybear I love you Justin. You're such a good pal!