I just rolled my ankle like snoop rolls a joint.

" I hope their ready for this" is what I think everytime I meet someone for the first time.

I babysat my niece and nephew all day today, and I'm now selling my ovaries to the highest bidder.

Lunar Eclipse of the heart!

There is nothing hotter, than a boy that cares about your soul.

I prefer talking to texting, but then I wouldn't have just had my "later" auto correct to "lesbian" so it's worth it.

Prince station on Pandora is making me want to live longer #fact

The amount of Axe Body Spray in church today, was almost unforgivable.

My high school boyfriend thinks he's the new Bansky...glad that didn't work out.

I may or may not have told my brother today at church "go get that asian, we need our own Francis Chan!"

If you like Pretty Woman, than your gonna LOVE Seinfield. #imonfire!

#FF @fourminutestory and @stevielwonder Do it!

When you eat a sprinkle donut an angel gets it's wings.

"I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine." ~Caskie Stinnett