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How Adriana Lima Got Her Body Back for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show http://celebritybabies.people.com/2012/12/04/victorias-secret-fashion-show-adriana-lima-fitness-routine/ … Fuck. That.
You know what tastes better than skinny feels? FOOD.
The nice thing about bumper stickers is that they let you know that you'll hate someone without you even having to talk to them.
I'm writing catchy teaser copy about farts. This is my job.
There is a puppy on the Internet named Fig Newton for adoption. FIG NEWTON!
The New Girl Scout Cookie Tastes Like BULLSHIT - @gawker http://gawker.com/5975288/the-new-girl-scout-cookie-tastes-like-bullshit …
I am an alchemist. I turned "going to yoga" into "eating half a pizza."
If you can't find your phone, it is under a cat.
I want to move my foot, but cat.
When there's a dramatic pause but really it's Hulu buffering