@KatyDidSays' (Katie ) most faved Tweets...
Hey, people with the screaming infant, if I wanted to listen to a baby cry for this long I would have had my own unprotected sex.
I may or may not have just tried to put on a pillow case thinking it was a t-shirt- OH MY GOD THAT WAS FRUSTRATING.
Me: Do you think they can see my vag during the MRI?
Coll: Yeah, they can. And they're going to be all, "Hey guys, come see this vag!"
Coll: Yeah, they can. And they're going to be all, "Hey guys, come see this vag!"
Are there rules regarding bringing a vibrator into the tanning bed? What? I only have an hour lunch.
I'm sorry, but I'd probably get more work done if I wasn't sitting here daydreaming of ways to murder you in the face.
Sometimes I miss my ex but then I see the facebook profile pic of him at the pet store with his ferret, who's wearing a little hat and vest.
People, stop venting to me about your problems. I DON'T CARE. Unless I get a present for listening. Like candy. Or a penis in my vagina.
I need a pen and haven't been allowed in the supplies room since that one time I accidentally stayed in there for 3 hrs. smelling new paper.
Starbucks barista, via the drive-thru speaker: Hi, what can I get for you?
Me: Doppio on ice please.
Her: Katie? Weren't you here earlier?
Me: Doppio on ice please.
Her: Katie? Weren't you here earlier?
In my next life I'm going to pick a job that doesn't require me to attend meetings. So far on my list I have a mime, a hooker or a pirate.
Okay, fine. Maybe "Leave me alone. I'm still drunk." wasn't the best way to say that I haven't quite finished that press release just yet.
Held door for UPS guy, who looked surprised & said, "Thanks. Usually people just stare at me." Me: They're probably staring at your package.
Getting new glasses today. I want a pair that say, "Smart, together and hip." As opposed to, "Nerdy. Watches PBS with cats. Bedtime: 9 p.m."
You may call it a "Bucket List" but mine is more of a "Raunchy Sex Acts I Must Engage in Before I Die or This Week or Whenever Really List."
Nothing. What are YOU doing?
NO, you put YOUR pants back on and get to work.
Well, whatever, YOUR pants are stupid.
NO, YOU'RE fired.
NO, you put YOUR pants back on and get to work.
Well, whatever, YOUR pants are stupid.
NO, YOU'RE fired.
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