For the women not clear of a mans intentions. If you say hello and he answers. He wants to fuck you.

Once you go black, have fun raising all those kids by yourself.

For those of you appalled by my misuse of they're, their, and there- How about you focus on gettin a job instead. Their, I said it!

I only show my girlfriend the most rude, obnoxious, blatantly disrespectful tweets. So she doesn't download twitter and ruin "My safe place"

When an oversized muscle head fuck boy walks into the bar. I Order a triple shot-shoot It down one gulp and say welcome to my gym bitch.

A woman gets pregnant & people ask to rub her stomach. Thats bullshit I have millions of unborn kids in my balls and no one asks to rub them

If you use twitter to follow politicians and famous celebrities. I feel sorry for you..it's all about the worthless nobodies. Oh, They shine

Men like simplicity and natural beauty. That's one of the reasons why a woman in just sweats w/ a ponytail is approachably gorgeous.

If her mind works dirtier than yours she's a keeper.

I dont trust bald people under age 25. dudes with no facial hair, dudes with chinstrap goatees, dudes wearing skinny jeans or white outfits

To Test out my girlfriend’s theory. I bought her a ring with a huge empty setting for a Diamond. Engraved-“It’s the thought that counts.”

If you're not laughing on twitter then what the fuck are you doing ?!

I wish I could quit twitter- but, I have followers who depend on me.

I love going to church - its just hard finding virgins to sacrifice.

For Fuck sakes people. If you're going to steal a tweet- please let it be someone else's original,creative one. Not same recycled bullshit!

I just hit 2,500 followers. You know what that means!? Not a godamn thing.

Pussy kills more men than money does.

Thinking about having a baby just to fit in on Facebook.

I thought I had a unique mind of my own fucked up thoughts until I met you people on twitter.

I Hate Mondays. But Finding out your Ex now has 2 baby daddy's and your'e not one of them...Just made it a lot better hahahahah.