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If her mind works dirtier than yours she's a keeper.
Once you go black, have fun raising all those kids by yourself.
A woman gets pregnant & people ask to rub her stomach. Thats bullshit I have millions of unborn kids in my balls and no one asks to rub them
For those of you appalled by my misuse of they're, their, and there- How about you focus on gettin a job instead. Their, I said it!
I only show my girlfriend the most rude, obnoxious, blatantly disrespectful tweets. So she doesn't download twitter and ruin "My safe place"
If you use twitter to follow politicians and famous celebrities. I feel sorry for you..it's all about the worthless nobodies. Oh, They shine
Men like simplicity and natural beauty. That's one of the reasons why a woman in just sweats w/ a ponytail is approachably gorgeous.
If you're not laughing on twitter then what the fuck are you doing ?!
When an oversized muscle head fuck boy walks into the bar. I Order a triple shot-shoot It down one gulp and say welcome to my gym bitch.
I wish I could quit twitter- but, I have followers who depend on me.
I dont trust bald people under age 25. dudes with no facial hair, dudes with chinstrap goatees, dudes wearing skinny jeans or white outfits
To Test out my girlfriend’s theory. I bought her a ring with a huge empty setting for a Diamond. Engraved-“It’s the thought that counts.”
When I was a kid you weren't allowed to be allergic to gluten you just died on the monkey bars.
I love going to church - its just hard finding virgins to sacrifice.
I thought I had a unique mind of my own fucked up thoughts until I met you people on twitter.
Pussy kills more men than money does.
Thinking about having a baby just to fit in on Facebook.
For Fuck sakes people. If you're going to steal a tweet- please let it be someone else's original,creative one. Not same recycled bullshit!
IG: @yayo_god You Are Your Own GOD. I wish there were more hours in the day to do the shit I really want! http://t.co/VWRmiWEh8S
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