Speaking of trying to make religion culturally relevant...though this seems a bit destructive. #jesustaketheturntable pic.twitter.com/7o02X94oOn

I asked my 6 year old cousin what my nickname should be. He said "aligator face" #depression

Kill the pig. Butcher it. Spill its blood. #lordoftheflies

Russia showed up 15 minutes late to the 1917 revolution holding tsarbucks... #punny

You better Czechoslovakia before you wreckyoslovakia.

"Women never marry the men they flirt with." #flirtationship

Breakfast supper >>>

Every time I paint my nails pink, I feel like Betty Draper #madmen

My younger cousins wanted to watch a scary movie. They chose The Nightmare Before Christmas. #childhood #lovethem

We're dating, he just doesn't know it yet. #fate #creeperswag

I told my dad I hate dress shopping because I have a broad back and shoulders. Muscle. He yelled "strong Russian blood!" -__- #thanksalot

@thismachine3 awwwwwh. I'll visit. Take you for pizza.

Reality - the name we give to the common experience.

Everyone has high and low points, good and bad traits. Accept them.

@yinkthesenuts should write movies.

Order now. #boyfriendpillow

The more comfortable I am around someone, the more I eat when we hang out. #truestory

Good job. http://t.co/5qKLBwaK

I wish everyone knew how perfect @yinkthesenuts is.

Whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch. Sick blah blah blah.