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Yeah i live in my parents basement...ya jealous?
at this point i'm pretty much just hanging out with my ex for free drinks and illegal fireworks
My 13yr old cousin was taking getting dumped pretty hard so i bought him a burrito and left it in his mail box to heal his broken heart
my dad just told me fat drunk and stupid was not the way to go through life bet he learned through experience..
Gosh, you people on twitter are just offensive. Keep up the good work.
I don't know why my parents get so offended when I tell people I'm an orphan..they still get to use me as a tax deduction
If you have anything to say about anything that no one else in the world cares about you have come to the right place..welcome to twitter
my sister is making me listen to her children sing bible school songs and keeps getting pissed when i boo them
Telling everyone my ex got herpes from some whore may not be the way to get him to talk to me..but it sure makes me feel better
One life goal i have is to be a bar skank..I think I'll be reaching it pretty soon.
stealing my mom's credit card to adopt a tiger...who says i'm not a good person?
i might live in my parent's basement but i get shit done when it comes to facebook bullying my friends that won't party with me
i'm sitting on my moms couch eating ramen & watching my 4th hr of jerry springer...pretty clear indication of how my life is going?
Brother "hey talk to me when you break triple digits on the follower count."
Me "hey talk to me when you have friends in real life"
is there ANY nutritional value in jello? probably not but shit's delicious.
"rock, paper, blow me."
Always a successful dinner when i can make my 12yr old brother choke from laughing at me talking in a lisp
threw up in the paking lot at work..'merrica fuck yeah
My mom says I'll die if I keep eating jello for every meal like I've done the past 2 days but I can't stop cause that shit is so delicious
I almost feel like I should thank my ex for giving me new material to tweet about, almost. instead i think I'll throw eggs at his new harley
On occasion I'm irrational// Sometimes I don't make the best choices //I'm the reason my dad drinks so much and my mom has high blood pressure.