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My dog is 6 and can barely read. I'm worried.
My first day on Twitter: WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE TALKING TO????
Hey, I got a job offer from NASA!!!
Wait, it's NAPA.
Just once, the Weather Channel should send Jim Cantore to Miami on a nice day and just let him stand there enjoying the sunshine.
Twitter sure is popular these days. I remember when it was farm land as far as the eye could see.
Not all superheroes wear capes. Some wear dog tags. #MemorialDay
There's a nap for that.
OCD probably sucks. OCD probably sucks. OCD probably sucks. OCD probably sucks.
I was like WTF but then i was like cool beans then i was like whatever.
I was JUST about to go to Walmart but I couldn't find my pajamas.
I'm all ready for trick or treaters. Got my fire hose out and the water pressure is good.
I'm afraid of Santa. (Claustrophobic)
I thought Oprah was president.
New England is all "DAMN" and Canada is all "dude, we live with this shit all year" and I'm all "LOL."
I bet the Pope won't re-tweet worth a damn.
no one good ever steals my tweets.
Police scanner traffic beats this TV coverage right now, big time.
If my dog ever tells you he can talk, he's lying.
I'm drinking stale Diet Coke. Does that count as "kicking it old school?" Kids? Eh??
Southern gentleman, lover of most things Canadian, doggy whisperer.