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I'm staring a help group, its called 'The Bi-polar alcoholic & cocaine abusers gun & knife appreciation club' What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Was angry about FOX news until I realized it stood for Fucking Old Xenophobes. Am at peace with the world again.
Beer & pussy. Oh, & ice cream that tastes like beer & pussy. #IknowwhatIlike
Woke up. Poured gin n tonic. Watched HD porn. Jerked off all over myself. Well, thats a wrap on this day!
Geeks do it better, & in Storm Trooper outfits
My iPhone knows me too well. It auto-corrected 3 words in a row to 'beer'
Dear god, did I thank you for the boobs today? Just checking, cause, speaking for all of us penis havers, we are thankful. Keep it up! Keegy
Pro-life people want to stop abortion so that the living babies can grow up to be dead soldiers. ~ George Carlin
Are Renee Zelwingers cheeks like that cause she's still saving some of Jim Carey's cum 4 a rainy day?
I wonder if they had to frisk Wynona Ryder at the end of every Black Swan shoot...
Ok, thats it, fuck this for a shit fuck day. Bring on the titties & bring them quick, cause I need my faith in humanity renewed!!
No one man can destroy the world, it's quite capable of doing that all on its own.
Uh, fuck lent, fuck ass wednesday, fuck your god & yr piss ant medieval superstitious nonsense #religionisbullshit
Dear world, japan survived 2 atomic bombs, I think u tweeting #PrayforJapan is mildly insulting...
I do love #boobiewdenesdays, almost as much as I like #dirtygirlwed. Put them together with a lil booze & you get #flashforcancerwed!!! =D
Theology is ignorance with wings. ~ Sam Harris
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. ~ Hunter S. Thompson
If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies. ~ Moshe Dayan
Middle name 'Boraccho', which is the more fun Mexican than Machette! :)