The third episode of Twin Peaks is really weird.

don't worry, hanging out with @lawyer_up_ is just as damaging to your ego as her online presence would suggest.

@sklaman WAIT. THIS ISN'T MONEY, SAM.

Where'd @sklaman go? Oh there he is... *watches Sam get body passed*

was offered an actual fork for my KFC no thanks I'll stick with the spork i want my silverware to be just as depressing as my food

I have 63 Eminem posters, all in different sizes and colors.

My roommate is wearing a Dane Cook T-Shirt... this is grounds to murder him correct?

@cramertheface UWM: The nation's leading school in attracting idiot potheads that couldn't get into Boulder or Colorado

when chinese couples cuddle, do they call it chopsticking?

The second episode of Twin Peaks is really weird.

@lawyer_up_ home, bein dumb and stuff

I feel like @harmarsuperstar is about to pull a Danny Brown and get his "d" "s'd" on stage at @thehotelfoster

Kellen is my friend - Kellen

@butthaver #guytalk

they got him. all my hard work has paid off.

@lawyer_up_ @vitaminkait kellan

I want them to murder my vagina. RT @rihanna What y'all think about HAIM?

I found a Xanax at @qdobamexgrill today ;-(

it amazes me the things @cramertheface tweets while sitting right next to me.

"I can't switch to an ANDROID.. how would I VINE?!" - @cramertheface