Parents pushing their kids into show business should follow Amanda Bynes on Twitter right now.

#1: No one would run a marathon if they had to sign a confidentiality agreement first.

I've never been a big Kate Spade fan, but Saturday (and the design work that went into it) is sooooo good.  http://www.saturday.com/ 

Love, light and laughter! *slowly shits pants while staring you in the face*

Girls want nice guys, but the problem with nice guys is that they are ugly.

Truworths is a cry for help.

i have gathered you all here today to sit in on my slide show presentation called "Traffic Circles & How To Use Them".

Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits.

Don't comb my mane, don't comb my mane, Alejandro

Maybe they should make cigarettes out of Google+, so they don't get addictive.

*eats anchovie. eats bread. eats caviar* "what are u playing at?" im eatin then in alphabetical hors d'oeuvre! *eats xylophone, eats zebra*

Cheaters: BBM Screenmunch edition. Now that would be a show.

Guys don't do it. This "interview" is just a trap to get men to watch Oprah! #doprah

Just seen Elton John's careers advice report from school. pic.twitter.com/V7JDLLU7

Nonhle must tell Oprah, not us.

no more moustaches on sticks! NO MORE. no more holding them up to your face. i beg of you. stop it. STOP IT. STOP. STOP THE MOUSTACHES. NO!!

Girls ovary act.

what if u always sneezed at the same time as ur bff & u each thought u had a real loud dolby suround sneeze but it just wasnt so. what if :(

E! Entertainment just had a Kardashiangasm.

I love bein a girl bc sometimes when u tell a guy about how another guy got you a job they say "He just wants to fuck you" it's so inspiring