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Apricity is a word. It means "the warmth of the winter sun". Apricity.
Does anyone know a Muslim Simon Le Bon lookalike? I need him for my new tribute band Quran Quran.
"In the future, everyone will be manager of Chelsea for 15 minutes" - Andy Warhol, 1979.
Before you talk to me with your big Christmasy head, ask yourself why you don't speak to me the other 468 days of the year & stick with that
These grapes have seeds in them. What is this, the fucking Middle Ages?
The letter Z was introduced in 1972 to make the alphabet look more "futuristic".
New cast, same script. #ge11
If they want people to stop smoking they should show that thing where the filter gets stuck to your lip & tears off a bit of skin.
OVERHEARD IN PUB Punter: "There's no lock on the toilets"
Landlady: "There's been no lock for 10 years & no-one has stolen a shite yet."
I'm wearing my blue cape today, just like Lando Calrissian.
It's a perfect afternoon for walking along the cliffs, kicking puffins into the sea.
LOST: My shizzle. Please RTizzle.
I've lost the ability to write a thank you email without it sounding sarcastic. Even writing IM NOT BEING SARCASTIC somehow makes it worse.
What we need now more than ever is a Xmas Creme Egg to see us through the barren period between the Screme Egg & the standard Creme Egg.
I’m in Starbucks for the second time in my life. Every man, woman and child looks like LOUIS THEROUX.
I once saw Ed Gein at an awards ceremony. He was wearing Alexander McQueen.