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  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    If you cough on me in an elevator, I am going to spit on you. Fair is fair.

    • 154
    • FAVS
    Maui_SpeaksLOUD_Thoughts_junejuly12SteveDutzyTrueTorontoGirlbobsaysdrinkkyle_thatisallEFFFFFFYOU________
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    bobsaysdrinkBootsieTweetsChjulianfavstar1000favsthe_moonfaceJerseyShell1Stego2012mytweecwetlife____
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    That awkward moment when the homeless guy hears you lock the car doors.

    • 145
    • FAVS
    Maui_SpeaksLOUD_Thoughts_junejuly12SteveDutzybobsaysdrinkthenamesmikeGKevinDeanGanderEFFFFFFYOU________
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    fastmofobansheeBootsieTweetsSwamp_erfavstar1000favstorigirlx3iLanawithaniihatemytvLea_Stephanie____
    vonbunnie
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    Judging from the barista's attitude, I'm not sure if the "MF" written on my cup really stands for "mocha frappuccino".

    • 133
    • FAVS
    LOUD_Thoughts_junejuly12TheSwanDonThisAlexSteinbobsaysdrinkkyle_thatisallthenamesmikeGKevinDeanGander
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    oom_denfavstar1000favsBootsieTweetslawynsiLanawithaniQu4rtKn33Favstar500FavsTHE_shitface
    WordsOfaHooker
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    I hate when people on Wheel of Fortune take themselves too seriously. You're just playing hangman, calm down.

    • 129
    • FAVS
    GarageRockNut_guyChthonic_GntlmnIndigoCheesejunejuly12TheSwanDonThisAlexSteinbobsaysdrink
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    IndigoCheesebobsaysdrinkgoffixfavstar1000favsBootsieTweetsiLanawithaniQu4rtKn33Favstar500Favs
    vonbunnie
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    The next time you buy toilet paper say to the cashier, "You know how it is." Then wink.

    • 124
    • FAVS
    starrygirl8675TheNamesPeteJTat_AttackMeshaK___________LOUD_Thoughts_junejuly12TheSwanDonThisAlexStein
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    TheNamesPeteJTat_AttackMeshaK___________EFFFFFFYOU________favstar1000favsThatJerkHaroldWjimbl0bQu4rtKn33
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    When guests come over, I tell them to keep their feet off the furniture. We laugh for a good 5 minutes because I live in a hollowed out car.

    • 114
    • FAVS
    starrygirl8675luckyjackI_DisdainMeshaK___________LOUD_Thoughts_junejuly12ThisAlexSteinthenamesmikeG
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    I_DisdainMeshaK___________favstar1000favsOneLinersPlus__Favstar500Favsmytweecwetlife____lostlegoVerified_XL__________
    Verified_XL__________Robski_Boy
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    Friend: "What is my biggest insecurity?" Me: "You want me to say what it is or what it should be?"

    • 106
    • FAVS
    huitzilopochtlaMeshaK___________junejuly12MashhPdThisAlexSteinGypsyWingsskyle_thatisallSheila_Mac420
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyhuitzilopochtlaMeshaK___________MashhPdfavstar1000favsVerified_XL__________Favstar500Favsnewbiemom
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    No, these cuts on my arm aren't from depression, I just got a new cat. So yeah... they're from depression.

    • 92
    • FAVS
    LOUD_Thoughts_junejuly12TheSwanDonMorganJ7PuffPuffCandiTraylorParkerMeerkatMannersThisAlexStein
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    MeerkatMannersemilythebeard____Mar_qTFavstar500FavsQu4rtKn33favstar_popmythical_snot____BigFitz428
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    Pillow talk: when I put a t-shirt on my pillow and tell it about my day.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    LOUD_Thoughts_ThisAlexSteinkyle_thatisallJimboleemVocabuLarry_mitchkins__fastmofobansheeKillerdolce
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    9to5LifeFavstar500FavsEmoSobbyNCNGBranchO12NELAfavstar_popthe_moonfaceDrewMeNow________
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    My mom was on birth control when she got pregnant with me, yet she still expected a gift today. Tisk tisk.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    starrygirl8675MeshaK___________LOUD_Thoughts_TheSwanDonThisAlexSteinLilRedRidngWoodJimboleemVocabuLarry
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    MeshaK___________Favstar500Favsshelshebrownfavstar_popTYoung3rd__MrLarryLarrybmetz131
    CeciHorse
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    "Because you have to put on pants." -Me explaining to my friends why I don't like to go out

    • 71
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    LOUD_Thoughts_TheSwanDonThisAlexSteinoinkflapJimboleemTraylorParkerlilly_rush24______igrumpypants______
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    _ErikaMcCormickDeeStraubfastmofobansheeM4ndaKayFavstar500FavsBoogieMonstahhQu4rtKn33moniquemichele8
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    My nutritionist's name is Little Debbie.

    • 67
    • FAVS
    MeshaK___________LOUD_Thoughts_ThisAlexSteinkyle_thatisallKevinDeanGanderJimboleemtwitiocyBucketE
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    bluepixiepictFavstar500FavsNonChronSlackeritis______the_moonfaceEmoSobbyfavstar_pop4MoniQ
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    I'd rather hopscotch through a minefield than deal with the anxiety that comes with opening a can of biscuits.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    tryped__starrygirl8675ThisAlexSteinLilRedRidngWoodVocabuLarry_mitchkins__fastmofobansheeBucketE
    • 15
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    framedinnocencetryped__starrygirl8675Mike09645iPurple_SushiMeshaK___________Favstar500Favsthejuniper
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    Thanks, iPod touch, for showing me just how greasy my fingers are.

    • 63
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    ThisAlexSteinkyle_thatisallSheila_Mac420LilRedRidngWood_mitchkins__fastmofobansheeKillerdolceBucketE
    • 3
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    Favstar500FavsEmoSobbypaucoo
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    I know I can't be the only person that refers to their dog's front legs as "arms".

    • 62
    • FAVS
    ThisAlexSteinLilRedRidngWoodVocabuLarryBucketEBootsieTweetskramedigglesShrunkenSausageSpotswoj__________
    • 3
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    Favstar500FavsEmoSobbyMolly_Kats
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    I'm not 100% positive half of the people on twitter can even read.

    • 55
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    ThisAlexSteinSheila_Mac420CseashellsfastmofobansheeBucketEIGotsSmartsTheStarMachineBigBBanter
    • 7
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    Favstar500FavsbluesuitsruleEmoSobbythe_moonfacegaak99____________ShoupDizzle______Jinxy_Stubbs
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    Does it make anyone else uncomfortable that Wendy named something "hot 'n juicy" after her dad?

    • 46
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    ThisAlexSteinSheila_Mac420Jimboleem_mitchkins__TraylorParkerlilly_rush24______AlbertaChrisfastmofobanshee
    • 15
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    Ndiscretion______GrantLehner4Freedom_76______BuckyHermitfastmofobansheeTwyztedChyckTillygrlladyfiredancer
    fastmofobansheeOrvllShrednbchr
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    I love how straight guys freak out if u ask them to hold ur purse. Relax, fellas. If it doesn't match ur shoes, then no one thinks u r gay.

    • 54
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    MeshaK___________ThisAlexSteinkyle_thatisallLilRedRidngWoodJimboleemtwitiocyfastmofobansheeBucketE
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favssmpvfdejl_fultzNoSeriouslyGFY__PulseArbiterkatkegel__________ImRichBich
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    "Something smells like poo poo...it seriously smells like dog shit." -My mom talking like a toddler and an adult in the same sentence.

    • 57
    • FAVS
    ThisAlexSteinVocabuLarry_mitchkins__BucketEfoodandwhiningGagerradblurryfotoShadyMiklo
    • 3
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    Favstar500FavsQu4rtKn33Coy0teUgly________
  • KendraAgain
      Kendra @KendraAgain

    The purpose of a Snuggie is to allow your hands to be free while you cover up your dignity, right?

    • 53
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    ThisAlexSteinSheila_Mac420VocabuLarry_mitchkins__Walmartin2011fastmofobansheeBucketEfoodandwhining
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsMissing_AMolly_Kats
@KendraAgain

@KendraAgain

If there is an awkward situation...I'm probably close by. http://favstar.fm/users/KendraAgain