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"Oh sorry, you're eating lunch. I'll come back with this ridiculous question or request later." - nobody in my office, ever
The thing about Twitter is, it really requires a great deal of mental discipline & editorial rigor in order to craft a concise message that
Last night I dreamt of ordering a pizza. Tonight I *will* order a pizza. This is for all you kids out there: Dreams really can come true.
All right, guys - I'm off to Zumba class!!! *falls off couch laughing, knocks over wine bottle*
Average day: 20% work, 20% Twitter, 10% smoking, 50% wishing for a Whack-A-Mole mallet every time that one girl pops up out of her cubicle.
I have arrived at the office. Another day, another BOOZE-FUELED SEX ROMP.
Since my niece was born 2 weeks ago, we've had an earthquake and a hurricane. Clearly she is the new Oprah.
Breaking News: Fonzie downgraded from Aaa to Aa.
Some might say I'm hormonal but I prefer to call it "face-punchy."
Roses for sure, daffodils maybe. I don't care for lilies, now give me a baby.
Who better than LL Cool J to lead us through these troubled times?