Too bad there isn't a prize for answering all the questions on Dora correctly.

My relationship with my ex can best be described by Pink Floyd: it was a momentary lapse of reason for I was comfortably numb.

My new superpower is imagining what every man looks like during sex and whether or not he knows how to spank correctly.

I would watch "Erections of The Animal Kingdom".

I learn of current events by deciphering your jokes/tweets about them.

Don't tell me how hard something is because I will be all over that shit.

I have a terrible headache. I need narcotics...and a throbbing cock. Yeah, definitely.

I think they should offer a "boner" option along with the "star" option. Boners are good and generally more filling than stars. Mmmm boner.

I really live on the edge. Sometimes I follow people after reading only one of their tweets! Woohoo!

Who wants to go to Wendy's and get a jr. bacon chzbrgr w/mustard, pickles & onions only? It's the "no significant other" burger.

My 17 yr. old daughter informed me of the meaning of blumpkin, then double-dog dared me to tell my mom. I did.

I can't believe some of the things that run through my head and escape through my mouth.

I've spent the day on twitter in my pajamas. I feel so close to all of you.

I'm only here for the giggles. And the stalking...

I'd like to keep this "in the closet" for now: I might be a hoarder.

Shocked by my sexual tweets lately? Blame/thank my psychiatrist for adjusting my meds.

Toy Story #DescibeYourSexLifeWithAMovieTitle

I love when Nick Jr. plays Three Little Birds by Bob Marley.

"What's my motivation?" me, trying to find a reason to do anything but watch t.v. in my pajamas.

So. After almost a year of being on heavy narcotics for my hip, I am narcotic-free. It wasn't easy but I did it. Thanks HP and Ethan.