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Saw a kid on the train fall asleep face first in his 3DS while playing Pokemon and for a brief moment everything in the universe was perfect
Game Of The Year so far for me is MarioKart 8 on the WiiU. Best with WiiU Pro controllers. Bowser. Sport bike. Slick tires.
New courses & crossovers in Mario Kart 8 are welcome but man what I’d give for BATTLE MODE ARENAS.
"Let's sponge paint the bathroom!" - everyone's mom in the 90s
Now that I'm older I don't prematurely ejaculate.
I ejaculate very maturely.
I don't believe in beating my kids. So I wear them a Justin Bieber tee and crocs to school so the other kids do the job.
Gilligan's Island would have been funnier if everyone had coconut allergies so they had to resort to cannibalism.
What happens when you lose
your heart's desire?
Aw man, try working weekends then see if shits all too hard on Monday.
Ebola free in twenty fourteen.
When you have nothing to do, do it on Facebook.
My OCD brings all the boys to the yard, in the alphabetical order.
Society is not the reason You can't change rather You're are the reason society can't change.
if you're not laughing then what are you living for
I wanna be the reason your shrink charges you extra.
A blues musician walks into 12 bars.
A girl so far out of your league, you two aren't even playing the same sport
Wish I was one of those scientists who tickle rats for a living
Walking through a gang of angry clowns is like walking through a mime field.
There once was a man from Nantucket.. I am that man.. and this is my story..